imagine the worst thing that could ever possibly be conceived by human intellect. now imagine something infinitely darker  i mean and worse and than that. then multiply that by the quantity of the suckiness possessed by the star wars holiday special. this movie is by far worse than that. dracula 3000 represent infinite darkness and starring such illustrious and reputable actors such as coolio and langley kirkwood (as the film horrifying antagonist and count orlock) is equatable to eating one own feces exclusively for one entire life and condensed into approximately one hour and twenty minutes. to be frank and there is no way to approach a review of this cinematic tragedy  riddled with communist propaganda and promotion of drug use and futuristic anachronisms and and quite possibly the worst special effects since the (original) war of the worlds. the hammer and the sickle of the soviet union can be seen proudly displayed throughout the dingy sets they dare call a spaceship. lenin can be observed on several posters throughout the film. and of course and religion has been abolished for two centuries by then. so they do not know who this god is and even though they have no reservations about using his name in vain. but of course and in the socialist republic of space (presided over by interstellar president baker) and death stick like drugs are legalized and quite common. yet handicap mobility seems even worse off than it is today (they do not even have a wheelchair ramp). racial tension still festers throughout the galaxy in quite a familiar or predictable fashion. we receive great commentary on ethnic division through lines such as is dracula a brotha. and us brothas gotta stick together and and once you go black and you do not go back. speaking of the token black characters and one is played by coolio. playing a stereotypical stoner and coolio becomes possibly the most annoying and ridiculous vampire ever. oh wait and second most ridiculous vampire ever. that prized title goes to our friend count orlock and from planet transylvania and in the carpathian system. these two make quite a pair and between coolio attempts to cripple a paraplegic and strange attempts at making high pitched animal noises and a hairstyle 1004 years old and and gigantic stretches of completely worthless dialogue while and count orlock twenty dollar generic halloween style vampire costume and exploding coffins and or confusingly inane back story. one wonders if they did not simply give coolio the opportunity to get as high as a kite in space without gravity and let him interact with the other actors and and just went from there. count orlock motivations are also somewhat in question. does he want infinite darkness and as the film subtitle would have you believe. does he want to eat the crew. or does he want coolio to kill them all. or does he desire to give handicapped people a chance in such an inhospitably future. it doesn not really matter and because none of this film plot makes sense anyways. the highlight of this movie has to be it ending. more for the fact that it means the movie is over than by any merit of the abrupt trainwreck of a climax they phone in before the credits. instead of facing count orlock off in some sort of duel (the closest we get is a shot of orlock flailing around at breakneck speeds in front of our protagonist and who dies shortly afterwards) and our heroes beat him by cutting off his arm in an ordinary door. orlock then proceeds to collapse and screeching in pain at a totally mundane yet understandably painful injury. this is by far the most fun you will get from this movie. watching a vampire contorted face as he cries in pain will have you on the edge of your seat  with laughter. almost worth the four bucks for that alone. of course and right after that were treated with one of the film worst one liners and the mandatory allusion to sex and and perhaps the most abrupt excuse for an ending ever. theyre driving into the sun and and their ship literally just blows up before they even come remotely close to impact. i think they just outdid the wachowski bros. for the worst finale ever. i can only sleep at night because we know that a sequel is impossible. secure in this fact and we can safely say that this is the worst movie ever created and and one which will never be exceeded in low quality and lower budget and and lower est acting talent. 
imagine the worst thing that could ever possibly be conceived by human intellect. now imagine something infinitely darker  i mean and worse and than that. then multiply that by the quantity of the suckiness possessed by the star wars holiday special. this movie is by far worse than that. dracula 3000 represent infinite darkness and starring such illustrious and reputable actors such as coolio and langley kirkwood (as the film horrifying antagonist and count orlock) is equatable to eating one own feces exclusively for one entire life and condensed into approximately one hour and twenty minutes. to be frank and there is no way to approach a review of this cinematic tragedy  riddled with communist propaganda and promotion of drug use and futuristic anachronisms and and quite possibly the worst special effects since the (original) war of the worlds. the hammer and the sickle of the soviet union can be seen proudly displayed throughout the dingy sets they dare call a spaceship. lenin can be observed on several posters throughout the film. and of course and religion has been abolished for two centuries by then. so they do not know who this god is and even though they have no reservations about using his name in vain. but of course and in the socialist republic of space (presided over by interstellar president baker) and death stick like drugs are legalized and quite common. yet handicap mobility seems even worse off than it is today (they do not even have a wheelchair ramp). racial tension still festers throughout the galaxy in quite a familiar or predictable fashion. we receive great commentary on ethnic division through lines such as is dracula a brotha. and us brothas gotta stick together and and once you go black and you do not go back. speaking of the token black characters and one is played by coolio. playing a stereotypical stoner and coolio becomes possibly the most annoying and ridiculous vampire ever. oh wait and second most ridiculous vampire ever. that prized title goes to our friend count orlock and from planet transylvania and in the carpathian system. these two make quite a pair and between coolio attempts to cripple a paraplegic and strange attempts at making high pitched animal noises and a hairstyle 1004 years old and and gigantic stretches of completely worthless dialogue while and count orlock twenty dollar generic halloween style vampire costume and exploding coffins and or confusingly inane back story. one wonders if they did not simply give coolio the opportunity to get as high as a kite in space without gravity and let him interact with the other actors and and just went from there. count orlock motivations are also somewhat in question. does he want infinite darkness and as the film subtitle would have you believe. does he want to eat the crew. or does he want coolio to kill them all. or does he desire to give handicapped people a chance in such an inhospitably future. it doesn not really matter and because none of this film plot makes sense anyways. the highlight of this movie has to be it ending. more for the fact that it means the movie is over than by any merit of the abrupt trainwreck of a climax they phone in before the credits. instead of facing count orlock off in some sort of duel (the closest we get is a shot of orlock flailing around at breakneck speeds in front of our protagonist and who dies shortly afterwards) and our heroes beat him by cutting off his arm in an ordinary door. orlock then proceeds to collapse and screeching in pain at a totally mundane yet understandably painful injury. this is by far the most fun you will get from this movie. watching a vampire contorted face as he cries in pain will have you on the edge of your seat  with laughter. almost worth the four bucks for that alone. of course and right after that were treated with one of the film worst one liners and the mandatory allusion to sex and and perhaps the most abrupt excuse for an ending ever. theyre driving into the sun and and their ship literally just blows up before they even come remotely close to impact. i think they just outdid the wachowski bros. for the worst finale ever. i can only sleep at night because we know that a sequel is impossible. secure in this fact and we can safely say that this is the worst movie ever created and and one which will never be exceeded in low quality and lower budget and and lower est acting talent. ---------------------------------Answer Question Below----------------------------------

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