just when i thought nothing could be as offensive and or or irritating as a billy mays infomercial and i had the intellectually shattering experience of renting this piece of garbage. peter barnes and john irvin should be brought up on criminal charges for smuggling this script into the public venue. the actors need to be charged as accomplices and serving no less than a lifetime away from the public eye. this production offers the disclaimer and for dramatic effect and we have taken poetic license with certain facts and or some such inadequate statement to fully brace you for the absolute repugnant rewrite of a bible story which needed no drama added. what they did add was enough to make your i. q. drop three full points for every five minutes of viewing time. the poetic license taken and invents characters so bizarre and you will recognize nothing but the names of a few and and and of course and the ark. for some reason and noah and lot are both living in sodom and so maybe abram was vacationing in switzerland on a skiing trip. lot wife and played by carol kane and is a harpy and and when she turned to a pillar of salt and lot breaks off her finger and carries it around in what appears to be an empty baby food jar. if that poetic and i am a kumquat. when noah  who has now begun drinking wine in quantities that could help float the ark  whines about the tough job of the building project and he awakens one morning to find that god has delivered enough precut lumber to lighten his burden. at least i think it was god. it looked like a delivery from 84 lumber and neatly stacked and bundled. maybe 84 lumber is really an agent for god. rather than bore you with the cargo being loaded and i will regale you with the account of the pirate attack on the ark. incongruous and you think. this movie is filled with such insulting nonsense. after an untold time on the waters and noah spies a pirate ship heading right for them. and who might the salty sea captain be. well and duh and it lot and of course. my only surprise was that his uncle abram wasn not aboard. if youre going to slaughter a plot line and slaughter all of it. the piracy attempt is unsuccessful and and the swashbuckling was pathetic and not poetic. i think it was around this mark that my nausea prevented me from punishing myself anymore. an ugly and senseless and moronic distortion of anything remotely resembling a bible account. on a scale of 1  10 and this movie is premeditated mind abuse. stupid and insulting and you will be more entertained by reading the yellow pages. 
just when i thought nothing could be as offensive and or or irritating as a billy mays infomercial and i had the intellectually shattering experience of renting this piece of garbage. peter barnes and john irvin should be brought up on criminal charges for smuggling this script into the public venue. the actors need to be charged as accomplices and serving no less than a lifetime away from the public eye. this production offers the disclaimer and for dramatic effect and we have taken poetic license with certain facts and or some such inadequate statement to fully brace you for the absolute repugnant rewrite of a bible story which needed no drama added. what they did add was enough to make your i. q. drop three full points for every five minutes of viewing time. the poetic license taken and invents characters so bizarre and you will recognize nothing but the names of a few and and and of course and the ark. for some reason and noah and lot are both living in sodom and so maybe abram was vacationing in switzerland on a skiing trip. lot wife and played by carol kane and is a harpy and and when she turned to a pillar of salt and lot breaks off her finger and carries it around in what appears to be an empty baby food jar. if that poetic and i am a kumquat. when noah  who has now begun drinking wine in quantities that could help float the ark  whines about the tough job of the building project and he awakens one morning to find that god has delivered enough precut lumber to lighten his burden. at least i think it was god. it looked like a delivery from 84 lumber and neatly stacked and bundled. maybe 84 lumber is really an agent for god. rather than bore you with the cargo being loaded and i will regale you with the account of the pirate attack on the ark. incongruous and you think. this movie is filled with such insulting nonsense. after an untold time on the waters and noah spies a pirate ship heading right for them. and who might the salty sea captain be. well and duh and it lot and of course. my only surprise was that his uncle abram wasn not aboard. if youre going to slaughter a plot line and slaughter all of it. the piracy attempt is unsuccessful and and the swashbuckling was pathetic and not poetic. i think it was around this mark that my nausea prevented me from punishing myself anymore. an ugly and senseless and moronic distortion of anything remotely resembling a bible account. on a scale of 1  10 and this movie is premeditated mind abuse. stupid and insulting and you will be more entertained by reading the yellow pages. ---------------------------------Answer Question Below----------------------------------

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