the unthinkable has happened. having first witnessed it a few years ago and i have had a film that has been my benchmark for awfulness and that film was called mccinsey island. a family adventure movie with hulk hogan and grace jones (i am not making this up) and it plunged to new depths of movie making and is still the only film i have seen that made me wonder what else the film budget could have been spent on. like new schools or cancer treating drugs. however and for sheer and unadulterated levels of crap and any film will be having to lower their standards even lower if they wish to trump guest house paradiso to the distinction of being one of the very worst movies i have ever had to watch. based loosely around the puerile but amusing tv show bottom and this film introduces us to two of the biggest losers imaginable. richard (rik mayall) is a hotel manager and as unfriendly as anyone you can imagine and so twistedly lecherous as to almost ooze slime from every action. his buddy eddie (director adrian edmondson) is an alcoholic waste of human life and together and they try to run britain worst hotel situated upon a cliff top next to a nuclear power station. between them and they indulge in cartoony violence (with sound effects) at regular intervals and steal anything remotely valuable or interesting from the fools who stay there and stare longingly at any woman at all. the plot and such as it is and involves the arrival of fabled italian screen goddess gina carbonara (vincent cassel) who is fleeing from her wedding and attempts to lay low at the guest house paradiso and much to the astonishment of richie and eddie. and. that it. i used to think that the carry on films represented everything bad about the uk film industry and god knows and we have spent so much time and money trying to escape that god awful legacy. we have had films like trainspotting and 28 days later and four weddings and a funeral and the brilliant shaun of the dead (also starring simon pegg) but this. this drags those films screaming and kicking back to the days of sid james and barbara windsor top flying off with the aid of a bicycle whistle. guest house paradiso is so low in its ambition that it insults you the minute you watch it. i kept watching and waiting in anticipation for the jokes to start but they never came. just an endless stream of trapped knob gags and unimaginative scenarios that defy explanation and slightly amusing violence with frying pans and fridge doors and almost nothing raising so much as a smirk. come the first ad break (it was on tv and you see) and i was ready to switch off but my loyal duties to you and my readers and kept me going. i am watching this so they do not have to became my mantra so you guys better remember how much you owe me for this because this was about as much fun as having sand kicking into my eyes and being force fed dog food. trust me and i used to love the bottom tv show. the combination of suitably grubby acting from mayall and edmondson with ott juvenile humour worked. for half an hour every week. certainly not for an hour and a half and as edmondson and mayall indulge themselves in their little private joke and bore and depress the rest of the audience. honestly and this makes mayall drop dead fred seem like the godfather and should you happen to meet either of these two people (who are pretty much solely responsible for the chaos on screen pretending to be a movie) and feel free to swiftly deliver a boot to their testicle region. they would probably enjoy it. pegg and bill nighy (both as guests at the hotel) are dragged down with this sinking ship but at least they survived. mayall and edmondson should not be so lucky. the movie equivalent of chernobyl and should be avoided as such. 
the unthinkable has happened. having first witnessed it a few years ago and i have had a film that has been my benchmark for awfulness and that film was called mccinsey island. a family adventure movie with hulk hogan and grace jones (i am not making this up) and it plunged to new depths of movie making and is still the only film i have seen that made me wonder what else the film budget could have been spent on. like new schools or cancer treating drugs. however and for sheer and unadulterated levels of crap and any film will be having to lower their standards even lower if they wish to trump guest house paradiso to the distinction of being one of the very worst movies i have ever had to watch. based loosely around the puerile but amusing tv show bottom and this film introduces us to two of the biggest losers imaginable. richard (rik mayall) is a hotel manager and as unfriendly as anyone you can imagine and so twistedly lecherous as to almost ooze slime from every action. his buddy eddie (director adrian edmondson) is an alcoholic waste of human life and together and they try to run britain worst hotel situated upon a cliff top next to a nuclear power station. between them and they indulge in cartoony violence (with sound effects) at regular intervals and steal anything remotely valuable or interesting from the fools who stay there and stare longingly at any woman at all. the plot and such as it is and involves the arrival of fabled italian screen goddess gina carbonara (vincent cassel) who is fleeing from her wedding and attempts to lay low at the guest house paradiso and much to the astonishment of richie and eddie. and. that it. i used to think that the carry on films represented everything bad about the uk film industry and god knows and we have spent so much time and money trying to escape that god awful legacy. we have had films like trainspotting and 28 days later and four weddings and a funeral and the brilliant shaun of the dead (also starring simon pegg) but this. this drags those films screaming and kicking back to the days of sid james and barbara windsor top flying off with the aid of a bicycle whistle. guest house paradiso is so low in its ambition that it insults you the minute you watch it. i kept watching and waiting in anticipation for the jokes to start but they never came. just an endless stream of trapped knob gags and unimaginative scenarios that defy explanation and slightly amusing violence with frying pans and fridge doors and almost nothing raising so much as a smirk. come the first ad break (it was on tv and you see) and i was ready to switch off but my loyal duties to you and my readers and kept me going. i am watching this so they do not have to became my mantra so you guys better remember how much you owe me for this because this was about as much fun as having sand kicking into my eyes and being force fed dog food. trust me and i used to love the bottom tv show. the combination of suitably grubby acting from mayall and edmondson with ott juvenile humour worked. for half an hour every week. certainly not for an hour and a half and as edmondson and mayall indulge themselves in their little private joke and bore and depress the rest of the audience. honestly and this makes mayall drop dead fred seem like the godfather and should you happen to meet either of these two people (who are pretty much solely responsible for the chaos on screen pretending to be a movie) and feel free to swiftly deliver a boot to their testicle region. they would probably enjoy it. pegg and bill nighy (both as guests at the hotel) are dragged down with this sinking ship but at least they survived. mayall and edmondson should not be so lucky. the movie equivalent of chernobyl and should be avoided as such. ---------------------------------Answer Question Below----------------------------------

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