arnold fans will holler in joy and fans of brainless action will holler in astonishment and and catholics will just holler. illogically written by andrew w. marlowe and ham handedly directed by peter hyams and end of days gets the terminator out of his open backed hospital gown (arnold schwarzenegger return to the big screen after his heart operation) and whilst blowing things up in mysterious ways and blaspheming biblical verse to give catholics something more to whine about. it is 1999 and doom sayers the world over live in trepidation of their computers going fritz and losing their downloaded porn. even as the technological stank of y2k muttons the new york streets and ex cop turned alcoholic security guard and jericho cane (schwarzenegger and with the perfunctory dead wife and kid back story for loose cannon effect) and must brave theological waters to save 20 year old virgin christine (robin tunney) from being conscripted as  wait for it  the bride of satan. dun dah daaaarrrh. stupidity ensues. for every anti hero and there is his anti christ. gabriel byrne is the devil here  and he out to party like it 1999 and on a mission to impregnate christine with the anti christ between 11 pm and 12 midnight and december 31 and 1999  ironically and in the hour that all porn will be lost  thereby bringing about the end of days. being able to read minds and conjure hallucinations and employ limitless magic and it doesn not occur to satan to expedite the impregnation process by appearing months in advance and courting christine as a teen model and then closing the panty raid easily at the appointed time while instead and he appears on december 28th like a keyser soze terminator and wonders why she doesn not welcome him with open thighs (see above comment re represent stupidity. ) here is a movie where nothing makes sense the moment it is uttered and let alone after contemplating its veracity or mythology. a priest (rod steiger) tells jericho that 666 is really 999 upside down with a 1 in front of it. so wait  prince is the anti christ. satan soze pursues jericho and christine (j and c  get it. ) around town and at no point doing anything which would actually precipitate their capture. in one scene and satan recreates jericho wife and child to tempt him into revealing where he hid christine. but if he can see so deeply into jericho mind in recreating his family with enough nuance to inspire nostalgia and why can not he see where jericho hid christine not ten minutes ago. satan can make an assassin talk without a tongue and yet he can not make that assassin unjam a semi automatic weapon. and when jericho shoots satan at point blank range and satan is courteous enough to open his shirt to reveal the wounds closing and so jericho would not worry unduly about satan health  not sanitary to go about with open bullet wounds matter of fact and instead of simply possessing jericho himself to get close to christine and rape her and satan expends so much unnecessary energy on side projects (crucifying the tongue less guy and blowing up jericho partner (kevin pollak) and then saving him and and then blowing him up again and ridiculously battling jericho when he could snuff him out with the effort of thought) that we wonder whether a more efficient assassin or lover shouldn not be put on the case  say and antonio banderas. what i find most precious about end of days is arnold valiant attempts at the method represent sad means scrunching up his eyes and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent while depressed means raising a bottle to his lips and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent while deathly scared means widening his eyes and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent. there definitely a pattern here and if we could only decipher it. in the end and the devil is dispatched not by the holy men whom catholics pray to for deliverance from apocalypses such as these and but from the atheist jericho. while the timid men of an impotent god exhort faith and quiver in their cells doing nothing about satan actually walking amongst them and the prince of darkness is thwarted by a nullifidian with a big gun and a foreign accent. which clearly says something that catholics blindly refuse to hear represent that even if the devil were to exist and those who have been indoctrinated to unconditionally and irrationally fear him would be unable to conjure a belief in his downfall and let alone act towards it. further and they might not truly want him defeated and for only through his contrary polarity does their god existence become tenable. for it is written in the book of revelations represent and the prince of darkness shall descendeth upon the earth without any solid game plan and and impregnate a virgin on a date which would not have any significance until the gregorian calendar of the 1500s adopts the day numbering which will put it in sync with the equinoxes and the anno domine syntax which will annoy sensible people for millennia and by which time and christians will have forgotten christ actual birth date and appropriated the pagan saturnalia festival in its stead. and the prince shall effect a revolution through tight purple pants and ambiguously lesbian band members i can believe the people being drained of blood and crucified and and the alcoholic built like a mr. universe while i can believe that a giant and supernatural monster can not kill a guy armed only with a foreign accent while i can even believe that the devil needs to perform some hokey thirteenth century celtic druid ritual as foreplay  but what i cannot believe is the 20 year old virgin in new york city in 1999. especially around prince. 
arnold fans will holler in joy and fans of brainless action will holler in astonishment and and catholics will just holler. illogically written by andrew w. marlowe and ham handedly directed by peter hyams and end of days gets the terminator out of his open backed hospital gown (arnold schwarzenegger return to the big screen after his heart operation) and whilst blowing things up in mysterious ways and blaspheming biblical verse to give catholics something more to whine about. it is 1999 and doom sayers the world over live in trepidation of their computers going fritz and losing their downloaded porn. even as the technological stank of y2k muttons the new york streets and ex cop turned alcoholic security guard and jericho cane (schwarzenegger and with the perfunctory dead wife and kid back story for loose cannon effect) and must brave theological waters to save 20 year old virgin christine (robin tunney) from being conscripted as  wait for it  the bride of satan. dun dah daaaarrrh. stupidity ensues. for every anti hero and there is his anti christ. gabriel byrne is the devil here  and he out to party like it 1999 and on a mission to impregnate christine with the anti christ between 11 pm and 12 midnight and december 31 and 1999  ironically and in the hour that all porn will be lost  thereby bringing about the end of days. being able to read minds and conjure hallucinations and employ limitless magic and it doesn not occur to satan to expedite the impregnation process by appearing months in advance and courting christine as a teen model and then closing the panty raid easily at the appointed time while instead and he appears on december 28th like a keyser soze terminator and wonders why she doesn not welcome him with open thighs (see above comment re represent stupidity. ) here is a movie where nothing makes sense the moment it is uttered and let alone after contemplating its veracity or mythology. a priest (rod steiger) tells jericho that 666 is really 999 upside down with a 1 in front of it. so wait  prince is the anti christ. satan soze pursues jericho and christine (j and c  get it. ) around town and at no point doing anything which would actually precipitate their capture. in one scene and satan recreates jericho wife and child to tempt him into revealing where he hid christine. but if he can see so deeply into jericho mind in recreating his family with enough nuance to inspire nostalgia and why can not he see where jericho hid christine not ten minutes ago. satan can make an assassin talk without a tongue and yet he can not make that assassin unjam a semi automatic weapon. and when jericho shoots satan at point blank range and satan is courteous enough to open his shirt to reveal the wounds closing and so jericho would not worry unduly about satan health  not sanitary to go about with open bullet wounds matter of fact and instead of simply possessing jericho himself to get close to christine and rape her and satan expends so much unnecessary energy on side projects (crucifying the tongue less guy and blowing up jericho partner (kevin pollak) and then saving him and and then blowing him up again and ridiculously battling jericho when he could snuff him out with the effort of thought) that we wonder whether a more efficient assassin or lover shouldn not be put on the case  say and antonio banderas. what i find most precious about end of days is arnold valiant attempts at the method represent sad means scrunching up his eyes and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent while depressed means raising a bottle to his lips and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent while deathly scared means widening his eyes and not blurting out anything in a foreign accent. there definitely a pattern here and if we could only decipher it. in the end and the devil is dispatched not by the holy men whom catholics pray to for deliverance from apocalypses such as these and but from the atheist jericho. while the timid men of an impotent god exhort faith and quiver in their cells doing nothing about satan actually walking amongst them and the prince of darkness is thwarted by a nullifidian with a big gun and a foreign accent. which clearly says something that catholics blindly refuse to hear represent that even if the devil were to exist and those who have been indoctrinated to unconditionally and irrationally fear him would be unable to conjure a belief in his downfall and let alone act towards it. further and they might not truly want him defeated and for only through his contrary polarity does their god existence become tenable. for it is written in the book of revelations represent and the prince of darkness shall descendeth upon the earth without any solid game plan and and impregnate a virgin on a date which would not have any significance until the gregorian calendar of the 1500s adopts the day numbering which will put it in sync with the equinoxes and the anno domine syntax which will annoy sensible people for millennia and by which time and christians will have forgotten christ actual birth date and appropriated the pagan saturnalia festival in its stead. and the prince shall effect a revolution through tight purple pants and ambiguously lesbian band members i can believe the people being drained of blood and crucified and and the alcoholic built like a mr. universe while i can believe that a giant and supernatural monster can not kill a guy armed only with a foreign accent while i can even believe that the devil needs to perform some hokey thirteenth century celtic druid ritual as foreplay  but what i cannot believe is the 20 year old virgin in new york city in 1999. especially around prince. ---------------------------------Answer Question Below----------------------------------

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