Question: How to tie a ballet shoe ribbon
Answer: after ballet slipper is on cross one ribbon over front of ankle, around back and straight around upper ankle, then bring other ribbon across front (crossing other) and meet the end of first ribbon and tie in a double knot and tuck excess ribbon under other ribbon.<|endoftext|>...

I watched that Orange County video again. I thought it was just Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist set that carried on like this.

Isaac said...

Jerri Lynn Ward said...

I wonder what happened to the charges against NAG. I found a reference on pacer that a Nag has sued the City of Joliet for civil rights violation, but no word on the criminal charges.

Michael said...

While watching breaking news from Arizona, my wife made the comment, "It trickles down. Violence. It never trickles up." I believe she is correct. She's ten times smarter than I am.

What happened in Arizona was a tragedy, and it's good to discuss it and look for ways to prevent like events. In my view, the reduction of inflammatory rhetoric and the strengthening of rules regarding database input and searches for prospective gun buyers can help. But guns and fear-based hatred aren't going away. They are now part of the fabric of the Nation, and, as fear overwhelms us, we see the growth in possession of personal firearms, violent speech, crime and violence. We have to look higher up the ladder for lasting remedies.

Our society is fractured, frightened and drenched in violence. The United States has been engaged in some form of armed conflict for nearly all of its 200+ year history. When something doesn't go our way, or when our desire for control is at odds with another country's (or race's) plans, we pick up the club. Diplomacy is too often a stall while we prepare our true response, armed conflict. In order to pay for these adventures we are increasingly removing our citizen's safety net. A society that is under extreme pressure, be it financial, medical or even for that which is required for base sustenance, is a society wrapped in fear. Add to that the fear generated by a "war on terror" and you have a lethal cocktail of stress. Is the damage to our citizens irreparable?

Those many Americans who lived in quiet desperation are now facing utter desperation. And our "Troops", whom we profess to love and honor, are being damaged for life. That's not hyperbole. I receive my medical care via the VA and speak with many vets on a weekly basis. Fifty years after the conflict our Vietnam combat vets still suffer. Broken dreams, broken relationships, alcohol and drug problems, homelessness, and more. Their problem is not how they were received when they came home - their problem is war. They will be followed by a new wave of young men and women to add to our damaged populace. From what I've seen we know a bit about "coping", but not much about "curing."

Few in power care about these problems, and the citizenry increasingly understands this. It is class warfare, and the ruling class is destroying those under them. Money has replaced the noble, good and generous in too many of our lives.

All that happens near the bottom rungs of the ladder that helps in any way is valiant. Every small act of resistance helps. But until the wars end we have no chance for true civility and peaceful, happy lives. War never builds hope and kindness. Look at what we call "nation building." Hundreds of thousands dead in Iraq. Millions of Iraq's citizens displaced. A functioning infrastructure smashed and replaced with what? We faced a couple of hundred criminals calling themselves Al Qaida and we found it necessary to beat Afghanistan to a pulp? Over 700 bases strewn across the globe. Our troops in countries for over 60 years after conflicts have ended. This madness is killing our society. We must remove the stress factors that beset millions of our people.

We cannot and will not find harmony and peace in our country until the wars and those who profit from them are finished. We can work at the problems that beset us, and nibble at the edges of things, and lament the horror in Arizona but we must change the war mentality in order to achieve true peace here at home. We must do the work necessary to determine the roots of our deterioration and act on the discovered causes.

I have a simple, personal answer. I will not vote for anyone who has voted for armed conflict, or has voted for or stated they will vote for increased or renewed funding for existing armed conflict. If that means I have to write in every candidate on my ballot I will do so.

Saladin said...

The parallels with Israel are frightening. I have noticed more and more that America is fast becoming a mirror image of that hateful, racist, paranoid state we claim as our closest friend and only democracy in the Middle East. I guess they won't be happy until we have become one huge Gaza Strip, complete with internal check points, an end of any human rights we still have and total tyranny over those they oppress. Oh wait, we already have all that, mission nearly accomplished.

William N. Grigg said...

Your wife sounds like a very wise and perceptive person!

Jerri Lynn, owing perhaps to the fact that I didn't get around to writing this essay until very late on an extremely stressful day, I neglected to point out that Mr. Nag was convicted of "assault," but I've not been able to find out what the sentence was. He is appealing the verdict and, as you note, has filed a lawsuit.

Lemuel Gulliver said...

So you noticed that too? In moral degeneracy, corruption, warmongering, daily violence, pervasive rudeness, arrogance, jingoistic ignorance, intolerance, and plain old nastiness, America becomes more and more like Israel every year that passes. You have any suggestions why? I do. It's because those people rule every facet of life in this country - the media, the TV, the movies, the newspapers, the commerce, everything, and they set the tone for all of it.

Having traveled to some 40 countries, I can say that those which are most Christian in their ethnicity (and also Arab - a delightfully hospitable and soft-spoken race) are also the most pleasant, polite, and friendly.

Wherever you find a higher proportion of those other people, you find the social sicknesses that are afflicting and destroying America. Mr. Peter King is just a symptom of a deep moral turpitude that is stifling all decency in this nation. If you want to see the future of America - if you REALLY want to see it - go take a 2-week trip to Israel. You will come back transformed:

Seen enough?
- Lemuel Gulliver.

If not, let Menachem Begin explain it for you:

— Menachem Begin - Israeli Prime Minister 1977–1983

Now you know where the Power Elite in America get their ideas, and their ideals.

- Lemuel Gulliver

Cody said...

Just imagine if a group of Muslims held a rally outside of a Christian charity event and one of the speakers said, "I know quite a few jihadists who would be happy to send these infidels to an early grave." I guarantee you that Hannity, Beck, and the rest of their ilk would play that video every day for the next 6 months.

The truly sad thing is that she receive a wild round of applause when she said that.

You're right, Will, things could get really ugly. If I were a Muslim living in the United States, I would start looking for a way to get the hell out before the red state fascists start trying to put them in concentration camps.

Bob said...

Does anyone believe that modern-day Israel is an illegitimate country?

William N. Grigg said...

Bob, given the ugliness of Manifest Destiny (a subject I've only recently studied in any depth), I'm not certain I can describe the USA as a "legitimate" country. I certainly agree that the Israeli government -- like the one afflicting us -- is a spectacularly nasty piece of work.

I've often wondered how so many Evangelicals who properly revile the UN can see the current Israeli state -- a socialist gangster regime that was created by and through the UN -- as the divine blessing dreamed of and prayed for by ancient martyrs and saints.

There is a certain purity in the malice displayed by the criminal clique running that regime: They quite literally will screw anybody -- fellow Israelis very much included -- in order to hold on to power.

And the moral equation of contemporary Zionism strikes me as really perverse. The original idea was that Jews, who have suffered persecution for ages, need a state to be secure. Yet today, the only place where Jews face serious potential threats is Israel. So the logic of Zionism (at least its current version) dictates that individual Jews should be put in danger in order to protect the existence of the state supposedly established to protect them.

If you're the kind of person to whom this makes sense, you're likewise the kind of person who could accuse me of anti-Semitism for insisting that the life of an individual Jew -- or Arab, or Persian -- is infinitely more important than the preservation of the Israeli State, or any other.

Lemuel Gulliver said...

Mr. Grigg,

You know how fond I am of giving your readers links

...

I watched that Orange County video again. I thought it was just Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist set that carried on like this.

Isaac said...

Jerri Lynn Ward said...

I wonder what happened to the charges against NAG. I found a reference on pacer that a Nag has sued the City of Joliet for civil rights violation, but no word on the criminal charges.

Michael said...

While watching breaking news from Arizona, my wife made the comment, "It trickles down. Violence. It never trickles up." I believe she is correct. She's ten times smarter than I am.

What happened in Arizona was a tragedy, and it's good to discuss it and look for ways to prevent like events. In my view, the reduction of inflammatory rhetoric and the strengthening of rules regarding database input and searches for prospective gun buyers can help. But guns and fear-based hatred aren't going away. They are now part of the fabric of the Nation, and, as fear overwhelms us, we see the growth in possession of personal firearms, violent speech, crime and violence. We have to look higher up the ladder for lasting remedies.

Our society is fractured, frightened and drenched in violence. The United States has been engaged in some form of armed conflict for nearly all of its 200+ year history. When something doesn't go our way, or when our desire for control is at odds with another country's (or race's) plans, we pick up the club. Diplomacy is too often a stall while we prepare our true response, armed conflict. In order to pay for these adventures we are increasingly removing our citizen's safety net. A society that is under extreme pressure, be it financial, medical or even for that which is required for base sustenance, is a society wrapped in fear. Add to that the fear generated by a "war on terror" and you have a lethal cocktail of stress. Is the damage to our citizens irreparable?

Those many Americans who lived in quiet desperation are now facing utter desperation. And our "Troops", whom we profess to love and honor, are being damaged for life. That's not hyperbole. I receive my medical care via the VA and speak with many vets on a weekly basis. Fifty years after the conflict our Vietnam combat vets still suffer. Broken dreams, broken relationships, alcohol and drug problems, homelessness, and more. Their problem is not how they were received when they came home - their problem is war. They will be followed by a new wave of young men and women to add to our damaged populace. From what I've seen we know a bit about "coping", but not much about "curing."

Few in power care about these problems, and the citizenry increasingly understands this. It is class warfare, and the ruling class is destroying those under them. Money has replaced the noble, good and generous in too many of our lives.

All that happens near the bottom rungs of the ladder that helps in any way is valiant. Every small act of resistance helps. But until the wars end we have no chance for true civility and peaceful, happy lives. War never builds hope and kindness. Look at what we call "nation building." Hundreds of thousands dead in Iraq. Millions of Iraq's citizens displaced. A functioning infrastructure smashed and replaced with what? We faced a couple of hundred criminals calling themselves Al Qaida and we found it necessary to beat Afghanistan to a pulp? Over 700 bases strewn across the globe. Our troops in countries for over 60 years after conflicts have ended. This madness is killing our society. We must remove the stress factors that beset millions of our people.

We cannot and will not find harmony and peace in our country until the wars and those who profit from them are finished. We can work at the problems that beset us, and nibble at the edges of things, and lament the horror in Arizona but we must change the war mentality in order to achieve true peace here at home. We must do the work necessary to determine the roots of our deterioration and act on the discovered causes.

I have a simple, personal answer. I will not vote for anyone who has voted for armed conflict, or has voted for or stated they will vote for increased or renewed funding for existing armed conflict. If that means I have to write in every candidate on my ballot I will do so.

Saladin said...

The parallels with Israel are frightening. I have noticed more and more that America is fast becoming a mirror image of that hateful, racist, paranoid state we claim as our closest friend and only democracy in the Middle East. I guess they won't be happy until we have become one huge Gaza Strip, complete with internal check points, an end of any human rights we still have and total tyranny over those they oppress. Oh wait, we already have all that, mission nearly accomplished.

William N. Grigg said...

Your wife sounds like a very wise and perceptive person!

Jerri Lynn, owing perhaps to the fact that I didn't get around to writing this essay until very late on an extremely stressful day, I neglected to point out that Mr. Nag was convicted of "assault," but I've not been able to find out what the sentence was. He is appealing the verdict and, as you note, has filed a lawsuit.

Lemuel Gulliver said...

So you noticed that too? In moral degeneracy, corruption, warmongering, daily violence, pervasive rudeness, arrogance, jingoistic ignorance, intolerance, and plain old nastiness, America becomes more and more like Israel every year that passes. You have any suggestions why? I do. It's because those people rule every facet of life in this country - the media, the TV, the movies, the newspapers, the commerce, everything, and they set the tone for all of it.

Having traveled to some 40 countries, I can say that those which are most Christian in their ethnicity (and also Arab - a delightfully hospitable and soft-spoken race) are also the most pleasant, polite, and friendly.

Wherever you find a higher proportion of those other people, you find the social sicknesses that are afflicting and destroying America. Mr. Peter King is just a symptom of a deep moral turpitude that is stifling all decency in this nation. If you want to see the future of America - if you REALLY want to see it - go take a 2-week trip to Israel. You will come back transformed:

Seen enough?
- Lemuel Gulliver.

If not, let Menachem Begin explain it for you:

— Menachem Begin - Israeli Prime Minister 1977–1983

Now you know where the Power Elite in America get their ideas, and their ideals.

- Lemuel Gulliver

Cody said...

Just imagine if a group of Muslims held a rally outside of a Christian charity event and one of the speakers said, "I know quite a few jihadists who would be happy to send these infidels to an early grave." I guarantee you that Hannity, Beck, and the rest of their ilk would play that video every day for the next 6 months.

The truly sad thing is that she receive a wild round of applause when she said that.

You're right, Will, things could get really ugly. If I were a Muslim living in the United States, I would start looking for a way to get the hell out before the red state fascists start trying to put them in concentration camps.

Bob said...

Does anyone believe that modern-day Israel is an illegitimate country?

William N. Grigg said...

Bob, given the ugliness of Manifest Destiny (a subject I've only recently studied in any depth), I'm not certain I can describe the USA as a "legitimate" country. I certainly agree that the Israeli government -- like the one afflicting us -- is a spectacularly nasty piece of work.

I've often wondered how so many Evangelicals who properly revile the UN can see the current Israeli state -- a socialist gangster regime that was created by and through the UN -- as the divine blessing dreamed of and prayed for by ancient martyrs and saints.

There is a certain purity in the malice displayed by the criminal clique running that regime: They quite literally will screw anybody -- fellow Israelis very much included -- in order to hold on to power.

And the moral equation of contemporary Zionism strikes me as really perverse. The original idea was that Jews, who have suffered persecution for ages, need a state to be secure. Yet today, the only place where Jews face serious potential threats is Israel. So the logic of Zionism (at least its current version) dictates that individual Jews should be put in danger in order to protect the existence of the state supposedly established to protect them.

If you're the kind of person to whom this makes sense, you're likewise the kind of person who could accuse me of anti-Semitism for insisting that the life of an individual Jew -- or Arab, or Persian -- is infinitely more important than the preservation of the Israeli State, or any other.

Lemuel Gulliver said...

Mr. Grigg,

You know how fond I am of giving your readers links to follow. Perhaps too many. But here is one that is truly PRICELESS - I hope you have time to read it, or at least the Foreword, Preface, the six chapters of Part 1, and the first 3 chapters of Part 2. The chapters are quite short. It is an online version of a


Question: Make wooden trash bin.
Answer: Flip over a stool and line with trash bag.<|endoftext|> handle this at work. It's really taking it's toll, and I'm facing an exhausting weekend working to make up for lost time. As a PSA - if someone at work suffers a loss or some tragedy, I really advise expressing your sympathy briefly and sincerely, but please don't ask for details or make them relive the experience. I've really appreciated simple condolences, as I'm grateful and touched by everyone's kindness. But work isn't a funeral, ok?

An acquaintance who suffered a similar loss sent around an email thanking everyone for their support and requesting, in the interest of remaining glued, that people not talk to her about it at work. It was admittedly unusual, a bit jarring and would probably offend the never-say-"no-gifts"-type etiquettists, but I also thought it was brilliant. And I didn't say a thing, not even, "I'm sorry for your loss." It was one of the rare times I knew exactly how to handle someone else's grief.  Something to consider.

Hi Carolyn, I was supposed to go on a holiday trip with some friends that, not by design but by fate, just worked out to be a couples trip consisting of four pairs sharing a house. Then I broke up with my boyfriend, unexpectedly, this month. A trip with friends is probably just what I need, but (perhaps I'm being a baby) I'm nervous about how I will feel being surrounded by all those happy couples, watching everyone go off to bed together at the end of the night while I sleep alone. What do you think - go, or bail? (If I bail, I'll still pay my share.)

Being the single around a bunch of couples can also be liberating. They go off together at the end of the night while you get to leave your reading light on, fall asleep watching stoopit TV, or do whatever other kind of thing you like that can be a sensory nuisance to the person on the other side of the bed. Also, if the couples are all pretty happy together, their company can create a relatively tension-free environment, where you don't have to worry about a whole lot of distracting social undercurrents.

It's really a matter of your state of mind. If you're still feeling too raw to enjoy yourself, sure, opt out, but otherwise I'd say to look for the advantages and go.

Carolyn, my husband and I thought we were ready for a second baby and went ahead and conceived. It seemed like the thing to do. But the further along I get in this [miserable, morning-sickness and fatigue-plagued] pregnancy, the less excited I am about redoing the sleepless nights, spit-up, diapers, etc. Moreover, our first child is 2 and I am really struggling to be a good and patient mom. I worry the second baby is going to send me over the edge. We have no family in the area for support and all our friends already have 2+ kids, so I don't feel like I can ask them for help. I kind of want to terminate the pregnancy while there's still time, but I have no idea how to bring this up with my husband or to explain why I've changed my mind -- plus terminating seems so unfair to a child who I once wanted. And of course there's all the guilt about us having a baby when so many who would love to can't. What would you do, if you were in my shoes?

Get in treatment for depression, asap. Your body chemistry changes alone can account for a bout of clinical depression, which in turn can account for your change of heart about the child. You were ready enough for the baby when you chose to conceive--that is, before the hormones and sickness and lost sleep affected your emotional health--so please see that you will most likely be up for the challenge again when your health returns.

So, tend to your emotional health, as soon as you can get yourself to your OB-GYN's office. Also tell your husband (also asap) that you're on the brink and need help--both medical help and child-care help. The latter alone can bring you a lot of the way back. Being sick-pregnant while chasing a 2-year-old is not just difficult; it's something that was accounted for when the women of an extended family would help care for each other, and that is now unaccounted for in our more isolated, do-it-yourself times. Bring the village into this, even if it means paying some people to serve as villagers--and take care of yourself.

Is there something to a long engagement? I've been with a guy for about 8 months now and we're starting to talk marriage. I'd like to get married as soon as possible-partly because I'm getting older, don't want a big brouhaha, and want to be with this guy like NOW! I know getting married inside a year will seem sudden to most people, but I've been through the relationship cycle many times and at this point in my life (mid 30s) feel I have a good grasp on what I want in someone I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. But I know issues come up during wedding planning that can bring out differences that will damage a marriage. And I guess I'm just not looking forward to all the questions about me being sure of what I'm doing and not rushing into things. Thoughts?

Thoughts: Your letter toggles between sounding like you know who you are and what you want, and sounding like you're 17. I mean, who cares about planning a wedding or what other people think?

And, possibly not relevant: Issues that come up during wedding planning don't -damage- a marriage so much as they expose problems that would have been there regardless.

The concern I have about your 8-months-let's-go marriage impulse is not that you don't know what you want; no doubt you do. It's that it can still take time to see whether someone is all the things you believe him to be. At least give yourself time to outlast any wishful thinking.

Add that to the aforementioned concern that you're letting yourself get distracted by superficial things, and I think it makes sense to have a moderate-length engagement. Not so you can plan a complicated event,* but so you can tame any sense of urgency. Spring? Next Labor Day-ish?

*Big favor to yourself: Keep it simple, so you're able to focus all your attention on the quality of the man and the quality of your relationship.

Just letting you know, my chat software hung up so I had to reboot. That's the reason for the long silence. The Q and A I just posted seemed to work, so things I hope will be better now.

I'd add to Carolyn's advice to take the personalitites of your paricular friends into account. For some people, not returning a call for three days means they're ready to sever ties; for others, it means they're an introvert waiting until they're in the right mindset for a phone call. Since this is a long-term friend, you probably know whether this behavior is uncommon for HER.

Right, thanks.

As someone who was in a similar position, though not quite as bad (and my heart aches for you), I felt as you did and walked away. It was the best decision I ever made. I will say I was helped by therapy and a good meditation class, both of which I'd recommend. They helped me sort everything out and I have no regrets.

Thanks for this.

I'm reminded that there's a huge range in the quality of therapists out there, as with anything else--and it sounds as if the OP may not have gotten quality care. It might be worth another shot at it, preceded by a careful selection process and a lot of questions about what s/he can reasonably expect from therapy.

What she does with the guy depends on what she means by "jerk." If she means he's physically or verbally abusive when he's in a relationship, she needs to question the friendship. If she means he's always looking for the next best thing, well, is that really any different than the guy whose looking for the perfect romance and breaks up as soon as he finds a flaw?

Right, good catch on the abuse contingency.

It's also possible he just thinks romantic relationships have a different set of rules, where you don't need to communicate your intentions and feelings as you would with a friend--which is a common takeaway for people whose main example of a love partnership is his/her parents' rocky marriage.

These are actually the people who probably can and will help. They already know how hard it is, and they have the skills to help. If you were my friend, or even my neighborly acquaintance, and you told me the story you just told Carolyn, I would take your kid home for supper, a play date, or even an overnight right this minute. I already have the booster chair, the dishes, and the diapers.

Another good catch, thanks.

I'm wonder if the "Mother" who has acted like a child her entire life: abdicating adult responsibilities, bad-mouthing those around her, in short, failing to be accountable, is now looking for her child to be her mother, to be the person she goes to, and the one she complains about to her friends. As the mother ages, she may be completing the circle on

 handle this at work. It's really taking it's toll, and I'm facing an exhausting weekend working to make up for lost time. As a PSA - if someone at work suffers a loss or some tragedy, I really advise expressing your sympathy briefly and sincerely, but please don't ask for details or make them relive the experience. I've really appreciated simple condolences, as I'm grateful and touched by everyone's kindness. But work isn't a funeral, ok?

An acquaintance who suffered a similar loss sent around an email thanking everyone for their support and requesting, in the interest of remaining glued, that people not talk to her about it at work. It was admittedly unusual, a bit jarring and would probably offend the never-say-"no-gifts"-type etiquettists, but I also thought it was brilliant. And I didn't say a thing, not even, "I'm sorry for your loss." It was one of the rare times I knew exactly how to handle someone else's grief.  Something to consider.

Hi Carolyn, I was supposed to go on a holiday trip with some friends that, not by design but by fate, just worked out to be a couples trip consisting of four pairs sharing a house. Then I broke up with my boyfriend, unexpectedly, this month. A trip with friends is probably just what I need, but (perhaps I'm being a baby) I'm nervous about how I will feel being surrounded by all those happy couples, watching everyone go off to bed together at the end of the night while I sleep alone. What do you think - go, or bail? (If I bail, I'll still pay my share.)

Being the single around a bunch of couples can also be liberating. They go off together at the end of the night while you get to leave your reading light on, fall asleep watching stoopit TV, or do whatever other kind of thing you like that can be a sensory nuisance to the person on the other side of the bed. Also, if the couples are all pretty happy together, their company can create a relatively tension-free environment, where you don't have to worry about a whole lot of distracting social undercurrents.

It's really a matter of your state of mind. If you're still feeling too raw to enjoy yourself, sure, opt out, but otherwise I'd say to look for the advantages and go.

Carolyn, my husband and I thought we were ready for a second baby and went ahead and conceived. It seemed like the thing to do. But the further along I get in this [miserable, morning-sickness and fatigue-plagued] pregnancy, the less excited I am about redoing the sleepless nights, spit-up, diapers, etc. Moreover, our first child is 2 and I am really struggling to be a good and patient mom. I worry the second baby is going to send me over the edge. We have no family in the area for support and all our friends already have 2+ kids, so I don't feel like I can ask them for help. I kind of want to terminate the pregnancy while there's still time, but I have no idea how to bring this up with my husband or to explain why I've changed my mind -- plus terminating seems so unfair to a child who I once wanted. And of course there's all the guilt about us having a baby when so many who would love to can't. What would you do, if you were in my shoes?

Get in treatment for depression, asap. Your body chemistry changes alone can account for a bout of clinical depression, which in turn can account for your change of heart about the child. You were ready enough for the baby when you chose to conceive--that is, before the hormones and sickness and lost sleep affected your emotional health--so please see that you will most likely be up for the challenge again when your health returns.

So, tend to your emotional health, as soon as you can get yourself to your OB-GYN's office. Also tell your husband (also asap) that you're on the brink and need help--both medical help and child-care help. The latter alone can bring you a lot of the way back. Being sick-pregnant while chasing a 2-year-old is not just difficult; it's something that was accounted for when the women of an extended family would help care for each other, and that is now unaccounted for in our more isolated, do-it-yourself times. Bring the village into this, even if it means paying some people to serve as villagers--and take care of yourself.

Is there something to a long engagement? I've been with a guy for about 8 months now and we're starting to talk marriage. I'd like to get married as soon as possible-partly because I'm getting older, don't want a big brouhaha, and want to be with this guy like NOW! I know getting married inside a year will seem sudden to most people, but I've been through the relationship cycle many times and at this point in my life (mid 30s) feel I have a good grasp on what I want in someone I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. But I know issues come up during wedding planning that can bring out differences that will damage a marriage. And I guess I'm just not looking forward to all the questions about me being sure of what I'm doing and not rushing into things. Thoughts?

Thoughts: Your letter toggles between sounding like you know who you are and what you want, and sounding like you're 17. I mean, who cares about planning a wedding or what other people think?

And, possibly not relevant: Issues that come up during wedding planning don't -damage- a marriage so much as they expose problems that would have been there regardless.

The concern I have about your 8-months-let's-go marriage impulse is not that you don't know what you want; no doubt you do. It's that it can still take time to see whether someone is all the things you believe him to be. At least give yourself time to outlast any wishful thinking.

Add that to the aforementioned concern that you're letting yourself get distracted by superficial things, and I think it makes sense to have a moderate-length engagement. Not so you can plan a complicated event,* but so you can tame any sense of urgency. Spring? Next Labor Day-ish?

*Big favor to yourself: Keep it simple, so you're able to focus all your attention on the quality of the man and the quality of your relationship.

Just letting you know, my chat software hung up so I had to reboot. That's the reason for the long silence. The Q and A I just posted seemed to work, so things I hope will be better now.

I'd add to Carolyn's advice to take the personalitites of your paricular friends into account. For some people, not returning a call for three days means they're ready to sever ties; for others, it means they're an introvert waiting until they're in the right mindset for a phone call. Since this is a long-term friend, you probably know whether this behavior is uncommon for HER.

Right, thanks.

As someone who was in a similar position, though not quite as bad (and my heart aches for you), I felt as you did and walked away. It was the best decision I ever made. I will say I was helped by therapy and a good meditation class, both of which I'd recommend. They helped me sort everything out and I have no regrets.

Thanks for this.

I'm reminded that there's a huge range in the quality of therapists out there, as with anything else--and it sounds as if the OP may not have gotten quality care. It might be worth another shot at it, preceded by a careful selection process and a lot of questions about what s/he can reasonably expect from therapy.

What she does with the guy depends on what she means by "jerk." If she means he's physically or verbally abusive when he's in a relationship, she needs to question the friendship. If she means he's always looking for the next best thing, well, is that really any different than the guy whose looking for the perfect romance and breaks up as soon as he finds a flaw?

Right, good catch on the abuse contingency.

It's also possible he just thinks romantic relationships have a different set of rules, where you don't need to communicate your intentions and feelings as you would with a friend--which is a common takeaway for people whose main example of a love partnership is his/her parents' rocky marriage.

These are actually the people who probably can and will help. They already know how hard it is, and they have the skills to help. If you were my friend, or even my neighborly acquaintance, and you told me the story you just told Carolyn, I would take your kid home for supper, a play date, or even an overnight right this minute. I already have the booster chair, the dishes, and the diapers.

Another good catch, thanks.

I'm wonder if the "Mother" who has acted like a child her entire life: abdicating adult responsibilities, bad-mouthing those around her, in short, failing to be accountable, is now looking for her child to be her mother, to be the person she goes to, and the one she complains about to her friends. As the mother ages, she may be completing the circle on the role reversal--responding to her texts is probably more than she merits.

Interesting take, thanks


Question: How do I write my friend a message on the sidewalk outside of his house?
Answer: use a piece of white chalk to write the message so it won't be permanent.<|endoftext|> one thing that really stuck with me. He described the activities of some churches as, "The sharing of ignorance with the intent of developing consensus theology." Wow, did that hit hard.
How much of what churches do could be described in such terms? How often do Sunday school classes, small group meetings, and other church activities descend into efforts to come up with something we can all agree to, but which may not, in fact, be in keeping with God's will.

One of the reasons I tend to dislike church groups, Sunday school classes, and any other church group activity that is intended to be a collective Bible study is due to the tendency of said groups to spend more time trying to reach agreement with one another, regardless of whether the group consensus is correct.  Is it really so hard to call someone wrong?

I’ve never thought so, although I do like to make sure that I understand what someone is trying to say before calling them on it.  But my experience has taught me that very few are willing to take a stand if that means making someone feel uncomfortable.

I am unable to understand why this is the case.  Are other people’s opinions of you so important that you can’t stand for the truth?  And are people so thin-skinned that being corrected will cause them to leave God?  (Of course, if one doesn’t want to receive correction from God, it is arguable that they were never truly with him, and thus could not leave him.)

At any rate, this trend of “consensus theology” is something I find to be annoying and impractical, which is why I prefer to study by myself, far away from the inane nattering of study groups.  When it comes to God, I prefer to know his will, not others’ opinions of his will.  I figure if he’s the only who can save me, it behooves me to listen to him.

Corporate Taxes Revisited

Corporate Taxes as a Percentage of Federal Revenue
1955 . . . 27.3%
2010 . . . 8.9%
Corporate Taxes as a Percentage of GDP
1955 . . . 4.3%
2010 . . . 1.3%
Individual Income/Payrolls as a Percentage of Federal Revenue
1955 . . . 58.0%
2010 . . . 81.5%
Anyone who is serious about closing the US deficit should consider the changes in what corporations pay in taxes and the rise of the deficit.

Mr. Ritholtz seems to have neglected debt as a form of raising revenue, which is why his corporate tax contribution rate is 9%, whereas the IRS places it at 4% (an approximate value).  Actually, once you factor in debt as a means of revenue, the “taxes as a percentage of federal revenue” rates are cut in half for 2010 figures, which suggests that the biggest issue facing the federal budget is deficit spending, not low corporate tax rates.  As it stands, I find Mr. Ritholtz’s recommendation of raising corporate tax rates to be absurd for a couple of reasons.

First, there is absolutely no reason to believe that an increase in one tax rate will lead to an increase in net revenue in a meaningful way.  For the last sixty years, federal tax revenue has been capped at roughly 20% of GDP.  This has been the case when tax rates were and when tax rates were low.  Additionally, fluctuations in revenue are better explained by the business cycle than the actual rate.  The reason why this is important is because it suggests that government spending should be no higher than 20% of GDP.  Since spending is considerably higher than that, it seems reasonable to conclude that solving the fiscal problem is going to require spending cuts, not tax hikes.

Second, tax avoidance exists, and explains the soft cap on revenue.  If corporate tax rates increase, money will be spent to avoid paying taxes and money will be diverted to avoid paying taxes.  People don’t like paying taxes, and that fact doesn’t change with the rates.  What changes is the profitability of tax avoidance.  Those who avoid paying corporate taxes will have a greater incentive to do so in light of a rise in the rates.  Those who don’t have a reason to avoid paying taxes will have even more of a reason to do so once these rates increase.

Third, only people pay taxes.  Raising corporate taxes will not work the way Mr. Ritholtz thinks, because whatever money is confiscated from corporations is actually confiscated from either customers or shareholders.  This in turn means that whatever is confiscated at this time cannot also be confiscated later (in case Mr. Ritholtz was asleep during Econ 101, this is known as an opportunity cost).  Taxes are merely systemic price points, and should be treated as such.  Having more price points doesn’t necessarily mean an increase in revenue, for people will have less money after each price point (because taxes are mandatory).

This sort of thinking, then, is too clever by half, for it is built on ignoring fundamental principles of economics.
Mr. Ritholtz has thus allowed populist sentimentality to influence policy recommendations, leading to advice that is not grounded in reality, and should thus be discarded.  My personal recommendation for fixing the fiscal mess is simple:  eliminate all unconstitutional spending and implement a single tax (either an income or sales tax) at a single rate, with no exemptions, credits, or deductions.  I see no point in setting the rate higher than 20%, since history has shown that the federal government is incapable of raising revenue in excess of that.

In On the Joke

I came across this story in the New York Times the other day.  Essentially, the main point of the article is that collegiate business programs have been dumbed down considerably over the last few decades, resulting in graduates who don’t really have a clue about business.  Basically, business school is for slackers.

As someone who is majoring in business administration at a small private Midwestern college, I can say that, in my experience, this characterization of business students and business programs is absolutely true.  I’ve never once studied or read any of my textbooks for a business or management class, unless I needed to do homework.  I’ve never studied for a test in any business or management class either.

The reason I never put forth effort is a result of three factors.  I take copious notes in class, I am very intelligent, and business and management classes are ridiculously easy.  The lowest grade I ever received in a business or management class was a B, and the bulk of my grades in either type of class were A’s.  Econ classes were the easiest.  If the professor didn’t have an attendance requirement, I would have only showed up for class in order to turn in homework and to take tests.

Overall, my impression of business-core classes is that they are incredibly easy, even at the 400-level.  Most classes consist of reading jargon-filled manuals that exist to explain the jargon used by the manual writers.  There are a couple tests that closely resemble the vocab tests you take in second grade.  There may also be a paper due at some point in the class, and the occasional pop quiz.  Homework is very light.

It may surprise some, but I do not find these classes to be enjoyable at all.  I normally enjoy reading about businesses, business leaders, economics, markets, and finance, but college classes somehow manage to suck all the fun and joy out of these things, as if being dull equates to be profound and challenging.

The only classes I found to be enjoyable were math classes and classes not related to my major.  I especially enjoyed my English and literature classes.  I even enjoyed my ethics class (which was my philosophy elective).  Of course, I found my PoliSci class to be enjoyable as well, especially since the professor introduced me to Vox Day’s blog, which led me to discovering other blogs, and played an indirect role in my decision to blog.

I suspect the reason why business classes are so unenjoyable is because they are pointless.  They are filled with incomprehensible jargon that, when explained, boil down to well-established principles of business:  Serve the customer, obey the law, pay your taxes, train your employees well, pay them well, and cut costs wherever possible as long as doing so doesn’t lead to a decrease in quality.  That’s three years’ worth of instruction right there.

Yes, day-to-day decisions are considerably more complicated than that, but they only way to learn how to handle the real world is to actually be a part of it, not observe it from afar long after the fact.  I learned more about business when I worked fast food during high school than I did from going to college.

Want to learn about how a business works?  Get a job.  I’ve worked in fast food, in department stores, as a painter, as a roofer, in construction, in IT, and as a freelance writer.  I’ve learned more from doing those things than I have from all the business and management classes I took in high school and college. Of course, I don’t know the jargon used utilized by managers self-managed work teams, so I suppose that my practical experience is for naught.

 one thing that really stuck with me. He described the activities of some churches as, "The sharing of ignorance with the intent of developing consensus theology." Wow, did that hit hard.
How much of what churches do could be described in such terms? How often do Sunday school classes, small group meetings, and other church activities descend into efforts to come up with something we can all agree to, but which may not, in fact, be in keeping with God's will.

One of the reasons I tend to dislike church groups, Sunday school classes, and any other church group activity that is intended to be a collective Bible study is due to the tendency of said groups to spend more time trying to reach agreement with one another, regardless of whether the group consensus is correct.  Is it really so hard to call someone wrong?

I’ve never thought so, although I do like to make sure that I understand what someone is trying to say before calling them on it.  But my experience has taught me that very few are willing to take a stand if that means making someone feel uncomfortable.

I am unable to understand why this is the case.  Are other people’s opinions of you so important that you can’t stand for the truth?  And are people so thin-skinned that being corrected will cause them to leave God?  (Of course, if one doesn’t want to receive correction from God, it is arguable that they were never truly with him, and thus could not leave him.)

At any rate, this trend of “consensus theology” is something I find to be annoying and impractical, which is why I prefer to study by myself, far away from the inane nattering of study groups.  When it comes to God, I prefer to know his will, not others’ opinions of his will.  I figure if he’s the only who can save me, it behooves me to listen to him.

Corporate Taxes Revisited

Corporate Taxes as a Percentage of Federal Revenue
1955 . . . 27.3%
2010 . . . 8.9%
Corporate Taxes as a Percentage of GDP
1955 . . . 4.3%
2010 . . . 1.3%
Individual Income/Payrolls as a Percentage of Federal Revenue
1955 . . . 58.0%
2010 . . . 81.5%
Anyone who is serious about closing the US deficit should consider the changes in what corporations pay in taxes and the rise of the deficit.

Mr. Ritholtz seems to have neglected debt as a form of raising revenue, which is why his corporate tax contribution rate is 9%, whereas the IRS places it at 4% (an approximate value).  Actually, once you factor in debt as a means of revenue, the “taxes as a percentage of federal revenue” rates are cut in half for 2010 figures, which suggests that the biggest issue facing the federal budget is deficit spending, not low corporate tax rates.  As it stands, I find Mr. Ritholtz’s recommendation of raising corporate tax rates to be absurd for a couple of reasons.

First, there is absolutely no reason to believe that an increase in one tax rate will lead to an increase in net revenue in a meaningful way.  For the last sixty years, federal tax revenue has been capped at roughly 20% of GDP.  This has been the case when tax rates were and when tax rates were low.  Additionally, fluctuations in revenue are better explained by the business cycle than the actual rate.  The reason why this is important is because it suggests that government spending should be no higher than 20% of GDP.  Since spending is considerably higher than that, it seems reasonable to conclude that solving the fiscal problem is going to require spending cuts, not tax hikes.

Second, tax avoidance exists, and explains the soft cap on revenue.  If corporate tax rates increase, money will be spent to avoid paying taxes and money will be diverted to avoid paying taxes.  People don’t like paying taxes, and that fact doesn’t change with the rates.  What changes is the profitability of tax avoidance.  Those who avoid paying corporate taxes will have a greater incentive to do so in light of a rise in the rates.  Those who don’t have a reason to avoid paying taxes will have even more of a reason to do so once these rates increase.

Third, only people pay taxes.  Raising corporate taxes will not work the way Mr. Ritholtz thinks, because whatever money is confiscated from corporations is actually confiscated from either customers or shareholders.  This in turn means that whatever is confiscated at this time cannot also be confiscated later (in case Mr. Ritholtz was asleep during Econ 101, this is known as an opportunity cost).  Taxes are merely systemic price points, and should be treated as such.  Having more price points doesn’t necessarily mean an increase in revenue, for people will have less money after each price point (because taxes are mandatory).

This sort of thinking, then, is too clever by half, for it is built on ignoring fundamental principles of economics.
Mr. Ritholtz has thus allowed populist sentimentality to influence policy recommendations, leading to advice that is not grounded in reality, and should thus be discarded.  My personal recommendation for fixing the fiscal mess is simple:  eliminate all unconstitutional spending and implement a single tax (either an income or sales tax) at a single rate, with no exemptions, credits, or deductions.  I see no point in setting the rate higher than 20%, since history has shown that the federal government is incapable of raising revenue in excess of that.

In On the Joke

I came across this story in the New York Times the other day.  Essentially, the main point of the article is that collegiate business programs have been dumbed down considerably over the last few decades, resulting in graduates who don’t really have a clue about business.  Basically, business school is for slackers.

As someone who is majoring in business administration at a small private Midwestern college, I can say that, in my experience, this characterization of business students and business programs is absolutely true.  I’ve never once studied or read any of my textbooks for a business or management class, unless I needed to do homework.  I’ve never studied for a test in any business or management class either.

The reason I never put forth effort is a result of three factors.  I take copious notes in class, I am very intelligent, and business and management classes are ridiculously easy.  The lowest grade I ever received in a business or management class was a B, and the bulk of my grades in either type of class were A’s.  Econ classes were the easiest.  If the professor didn’t have an attendance requirement, I would have only showed up for class in order to turn in homework and to take tests.

Overall, my impression of business-core classes is that they are incredibly easy, even at the 400-level.  Most classes consist of reading jargon-filled manuals that exist to explain the jargon used by the manual writers.  There are a couple tests that closely resemble the vocab tests you take in second grade.  There may also be a paper due at some point in the class, and the occasional pop quiz.  Homework is very light.

It may surprise some, but I do not find these classes to be enjoyable at all.  I normally enjoy reading about businesses, business leaders, economics, markets, and finance, but college classes somehow manage to suck all the fun and joy out of these things, as if being dull equates to be profound and challenging.

The only classes I found to be enjoyable were math classes and classes not related to my major.  I especially enjoyed my English and literature classes.  I even enjoyed my ethics class (which was my philosophy elective).  Of course, I found my PoliSci class to be enjoyable as well, especially since the professor introduced me to Vox Day’s blog, which led me to discovering other blogs, and played an indirect role in my decision to blog.

I suspect the reason why business classes are so unenjoyable is because they are pointless.  They are filled with incomprehensible jargon that, when explained, boil down to well-established principles of business:  Serve the customer, obey the law, pay your taxes, train your employees well, pay them well, and cut costs wherever possible as long as doing so doesn’t lead to a decrease in quality.  That’s three years’ worth of instruction right there.

Yes, day-to-day decisions are considerably more complicated than that, but they only way to learn how to handle the real world is to actually be a part of it, not observe it from afar long after the fact.  I learned more about business when I worked fast food during high school than I did from going to college.

Want to learn about how a business works?  Get a job.  I’ve worked in fast food, in department stores, as a painter, as a roofer, in construction, in IT, and as a freelance writer.  I’ve learned more from doing those things than I have from all the business and management classes I took in high school and college. Of course, I don’t know the jargon used utilized by managers self-managed work teams, so I suppose that my practical experience is for naught.

At any rate, it’s very clear to me that business programs are nothing more than a bad joke.  Unfortunately, the punchline is lots of debt and no usable skills.


Question: Do I need to get all the stuff out of the clay?
Answer: Yes when making your own clay you need to remove the foreign items<|endoftext|> that the “I” is an illusion. We are part of that movie, not something separated.
From that perception, we could perceive the beauty of Totality which others may call “omnipresence” and yet others, “God.”

Let us say that I believed in the religious explanation of the cycle of time given by this religion.
“This is the time to change your destiny. If you don’t do it now, you will not be in Paradise and that unfortunate event will repeat for ever.”

Obviously, my experience of “fortune telling” was supported by the explanation of “eternal return” which at the same time was interpreted in a religious way by some religion due to another experience that I had.
What is the result of so many interpretations?

A dogmatic view of Life.

The fact of recognizing that the “I” is an illusion in a continuously changing world, will clearly allow me to see that the “I” is not “doing anything.” Because everything changes there cannot be a static entity such as the “I.”

Nevertheless, the consciousness of the “I” and the “Me,” (normal consciousness) will compel me to see the “reality” of the “I” doing things.
“I need to go to Paradise.” “I need to achieve God consciousness.” “I need to be saved.” “I need to become a guru.” “I need to be an angel.”
All of that is the illusion of the ego to maintain the “I.”

Are you saying that we are predestined and that there is no free will, then?

I am saying to forget that intellectual nonsense of believing in labels and to feel the moment as “it is,” that means to enjoy it. Isn’t that “good karma” after all?

I am saying, that Life is not pressuring anyone to accomplish anything. Just enjoy the moment.

I am saying that “YOU” as “YOU” are right now, cannot go to Paradise or any other “holy” place until that “YOU” goes away… and at that point, there is no need to go anywhere….

Ananda’s Life experience is already showing in the palms of his hands. Ananda’s Life is related with the position of the planets and stars in the sky. Why?
Because Ananda belongs to everything and he is related with everything. Ananda is not something existing by itself.

The ego arrives and says: “ I can do whatever I want with my life.”
Right. Just like regulating my breathing or stopping my heart beats or changing my consciousness or stopping my thoughts or becoming “more intelligent”… Sure, we can change all of that at “will.” No self-help books needed or Gurus for that…

Are you saying that “I” am a “puppet” of destiny then?

No. Once the “I” goes away, the “right” answer in that consciousness will arrive … all by itself. 🙂
If the “I” remains then the duality of being “predestined” or having “free will” will exist and with that, more beliefs to believe in…

Beyond our limits

Let us say that the world is a “shoe box.” There is “John” all by himself in it.
What would be “moral or immoral” for John? What would be “right or wrong” for John?
Answer: What he believes to be.

Let us say that there is another person who joins John later on.
What would be “moral or immoral” to do? What would be “right or wrong” to do?
Answer: it depends on their belief.

Besides beliefs, there are matter of fact consequences. John may enjoy the company of that other being for he was alone before, but at the same time, John likes to have his own space all for himself.

If john was a “black or white” type of individual; he will either choose to be alone or to have company. There is no awareness of integrating both experiences without choosing.

The paradoxical and beautiful thing about the world is that every moral value, every belief system that someone may cherish as “truth” is contradicted by another living species in Nature.
Do you think that a caste system, a hierarchy based on being born in certain social class is “bad”?
Take a look at bees and ants.
Do you think that family life is a thing of the past?
Take a look at how wolves live.
Do you think that to be a loner and to mingle with the opposite gender just to procreate is to take advantage of someone?
Take a look at the life of tigers.

If we observe life as it is in Nature and not the artificially created “world at the office,” we will discover those beautiful contradictions, which make this world what is.

What could be God’s law then, in the observation that every species of “his” creation acts contradicting any written law that could ever be?

Perhaps there is a law for every species?
I have not seen any written codes of conduct for Tigers yet. But because there is that diversity around, could I make myself such a narrow minded, judgmental person who takes sides to label something as “good or bad”?

If there was a law of “good and bad” coming from God himself wouldn’t that be a contradiction of what already exists?
That is why many individuals have decided to create their “own world” in their own “shoe box” to fit their beliefs as “righteous” in their world.

As John’s “shoe box” becomes populated, there is obviously a problem of “logistics” in the human world that animals are unaware of.
Thinking, logic, analysis creates that contradiction which a human being will pretend to resolve through moral standards.

An animal adapts and harmoniously is able to live in balance with its surroundings.
A thinking, “rational” human being is unable to adapt like that.

The question is not “why is that?” because that will take our logic and rationality into greater contradictions.

The point is to observe, feel and act.

Nature has a completely different way of manifesting beyond logic, rationality and belief systems… well beyond our “office world” morality.

The “world of the office,” John’s “shoe box” has rationality, analysis, judgment, comparisons, separation, and, ifs, or, not … computer operations, that we have learned to troubleshoot by breaking the problems in “halfs” until we discover the “culprit.”

Nature does not work like that.

Which world do we choose?
Wrong question if we could see beyond duality, but a rational “good” question for those who cannot.

Integrate everything. Welcome the “office world” and Nature. Experience both.

At that point, we could understand practically that “God” could never have given us any laws to be followed, but to allow us to make sense of things for ourselves…Not intellectually, but by using our “instincts.”
That is insight, intuition, love for the Totality, appreciation of what is, gratefulness and a sense of balance.
When we discover in ourselves what is beautiful, then we have discovered what we have in common with “his” creation.

Relationships in Life

When we become trapped in labels and traditions from society, we may not be able to listen to our inner voice based on an indisputable feeling, which will let us know the way we should act in life.

Ananda does not feel the same feelings for his family members as his sister Raysha does.

Even though Ananda had mostly a good relationship with his parents; the feeling is not as strong as it could be for Raysha.

Ananda asked Mathias, the wise tree about that.
Mathias responded: “Raysha is related with both family trees; your father and your mother.
You Ananda… you are related through them indirectly, through Raysha.”

Ananda then asked: “Which one is my direct family link?”
Mathias responded: “The Universe.” 🙂

Obviously, there is information that has value at a particular point in time. Knowing what is Ananda’s direct family link will be only intellectual information at this point. That is of no consequence.

Mathias also added: “Raysha will have feelings of motherhood towards her father who is almost ready to depart into another experience. Raysha had been her mother in another life.”

Then, Mr. Intellectual and Mrs. Devotional come into the picture:
“ But … that is not logical… That is nonsense.
If you are the daughter how could you be the mother at the same time? “
“My belief is that this is the only lifetime and then you either go to hell or heaven. There is only one life according to the Holy book written by God.”

Feelings don’t lie.

As we learn to observe all the labels that we use to categorize people into brothers, sisters, aunts, etc. Those categories already define the type of relationship that we are allowed to have now.
That is neither “good nor bad.” Our feelings and not our thoughts are the catalyst for action or reaction, that is why it becomes important to know ourselves by acknowledging our emotions first, to

 that the “I” is an illusion. We are part of that movie, not something separated.
From that perception, we could perceive the beauty of Totality which others may call “omnipresence” and yet others, “God.”

Let us say that I believed in the religious explanation of the cycle of time given by this religion.
“This is the time to change your destiny. If you don’t do it now, you will not be in Paradise and that unfortunate event will repeat for ever.”

Obviously, my experience of “fortune telling” was supported by the explanation of “eternal return” which at the same time was interpreted in a religious way by some religion due to another experience that I had.
What is the result of so many interpretations?

A dogmatic view of Life.

The fact of recognizing that the “I” is an illusion in a continuously changing world, will clearly allow me to see that the “I” is not “doing anything.” Because everything changes there cannot be a static entity such as the “I.”

Nevertheless, the consciousness of the “I” and the “Me,” (normal consciousness) will compel me to see the “reality” of the “I” doing things.
“I need to go to Paradise.” “I need to achieve God consciousness.” “I need to be saved.” “I need to become a guru.” “I need to be an angel.”
All of that is the illusion of the ego to maintain the “I.”

Are you saying that we are predestined and that there is no free will, then?

I am saying to forget that intellectual nonsense of believing in labels and to feel the moment as “it is,” that means to enjoy it. Isn’t that “good karma” after all?

I am saying, that Life is not pressuring anyone to accomplish anything. Just enjoy the moment.

I am saying that “YOU” as “YOU” are right now, cannot go to Paradise or any other “holy” place until that “YOU” goes away… and at that point, there is no need to go anywhere….

Ananda’s Life experience is already showing in the palms of his hands. Ananda’s Life is related with the position of the planets and stars in the sky. Why?
Because Ananda belongs to everything and he is related with everything. Ananda is not something existing by itself.

The ego arrives and says: “ I can do whatever I want with my life.”
Right. Just like regulating my breathing or stopping my heart beats or changing my consciousness or stopping my thoughts or becoming “more intelligent”… Sure, we can change all of that at “will.” No self-help books needed or Gurus for that…

Are you saying that “I” am a “puppet” of destiny then?

No. Once the “I” goes away, the “right” answer in that consciousness will arrive … all by itself. 🙂
If the “I” remains then the duality of being “predestined” or having “free will” will exist and with that, more beliefs to believe in…

Beyond our limits

Let us say that the world is a “shoe box.” There is “John” all by himself in it.
What would be “moral or immoral” for John? What would be “right or wrong” for John?
Answer: What he believes to be.

Let us say that there is another person who joins John later on.
What would be “moral or immoral” to do? What would be “right or wrong” to do?
Answer: it depends on their belief.

Besides beliefs, there are matter of fact consequences. John may enjoy the company of that other being for he was alone before, but at the same time, John likes to have his own space all for himself.

If john was a “black or white” type of individual; he will either choose to be alone or to have company. There is no awareness of integrating both experiences without choosing.

The paradoxical and beautiful thing about the world is that every moral value, every belief system that someone may cherish as “truth” is contradicted by another living species in Nature.
Do you think that a caste system, a hierarchy based on being born in certain social class is “bad”?
Take a look at bees and ants.
Do you think that family life is a thing of the past?
Take a look at how wolves live.
Do you think that to be a loner and to mingle with the opposite gender just to procreate is to take advantage of someone?
Take a look at the life of tigers.

If we observe life as it is in Nature and not the artificially created “world at the office,” we will discover those beautiful contradictions, which make this world what is.

What could be God’s law then, in the observation that every species of “his” creation acts contradicting any written law that could ever be?

Perhaps there is a law for every species?
I have not seen any written codes of conduct for Tigers yet. But because there is that diversity around, could I make myself such a narrow minded, judgmental person who takes sides to label something as “good or bad”?

If there was a law of “good and bad” coming from God himself wouldn’t that be a contradiction of what already exists?
That is why many individuals have decided to create their “own world” in their own “shoe box” to fit their beliefs as “righteous” in their world.

As John’s “shoe box” becomes populated, there is obviously a problem of “logistics” in the human world that animals are unaware of.
Thinking, logic, analysis creates that contradiction which a human being will pretend to resolve through moral standards.

An animal adapts and harmoniously is able to live in balance with its surroundings.
A thinking, “rational” human being is unable to adapt like that.

The question is not “why is that?” because that will take our logic and rationality into greater contradictions.

The point is to observe, feel and act.

Nature has a completely different way of manifesting beyond logic, rationality and belief systems… well beyond our “office world” morality.

The “world of the office,” John’s “shoe box” has rationality, analysis, judgment, comparisons, separation, and, ifs, or, not … computer operations, that we have learned to troubleshoot by breaking the problems in “halfs” until we discover the “culprit.”

Nature does not work like that.

Which world do we choose?
Wrong question if we could see beyond duality, but a rational “good” question for those who cannot.

Integrate everything. Welcome the “office world” and Nature. Experience both.

At that point, we could understand practically that “God” could never have given us any laws to be followed, but to allow us to make sense of things for ourselves…Not intellectually, but by using our “instincts.”
That is insight, intuition, love for the Totality, appreciation of what is, gratefulness and a sense of balance.
When we discover in ourselves what is beautiful, then we have discovered what we have in common with “his” creation.

Relationships in Life

When we become trapped in labels and traditions from society, we may not be able to listen to our inner voice based on an indisputable feeling, which will let us know the way we should act in life.

Ananda does not feel the same feelings for his family members as his sister Raysha does.

Even though Ananda had mostly a good relationship with his parents; the feeling is not as strong as it could be for Raysha.

Ananda asked Mathias, the wise tree about that.
Mathias responded: “Raysha is related with both family trees; your father and your mother.
You Ananda… you are related through them indirectly, through Raysha.”

Ananda then asked: “Which one is my direct family link?”
Mathias responded: “The Universe.” 🙂

Obviously, there is information that has value at a particular point in time. Knowing what is Ananda’s direct family link will be only intellectual information at this point. That is of no consequence.

Mathias also added: “Raysha will have feelings of motherhood towards her father who is almost ready to depart into another experience. Raysha had been her mother in another life.”

Then, Mr. Intellectual and Mrs. Devotional come into the picture:
“ But … that is not logical… That is nonsense.
If you are the daughter how could you be the mother at the same time? “
“My belief is that this is the only lifetime and then you either go to hell or heaven. There is only one life according to the Holy book written by God.”

Feelings don’t lie.

As we learn to observe all the labels that we use to categorize people into brothers, sisters, aunts, etc. Those categories already define the type of relationship that we are allowed to have now.
That is neither “good nor bad.” Our feelings and not our thoughts are the catalyst for action or reaction, that is why it becomes important to know ourselves by acknowledging our emotions first, to find our feelings.

Sometimes, we may meet someone that we would like to get to know better in a relationship, just to find out that “she


Question: Pick a spot with at least 6 feet of space from ground to hanging point.
Answer: The most common spot will be a strong tree branch that can withstand significant weight (at least 250 pounds). A hardwood tree with healthy horizontal branches will provide the best support. Be sure your location offers 6 to 8 feet of vertical clearance.<|endoftext|> 1343-56.

61. Steinberg, D., Thematic review series: the pathogenesis of atherosclerosis. An interpretive history of the cholesterol controversy, part V: the discovery of the statins and the end of the controversy. J Lipid Res, 2006. 47(7): p. 1339-51.

62. Futterman, L.G. and L. Lemberg, Apo a-I Milano. Am J Crit Care, 2005. 14(3): p. 244-7.

63. Nabel, E.G. and E. Braunwald, A tale of coronary artery disease and myocardial infarction.

N Engl J Med, 2012. 366(1): p. 54-63.

65. Kumar VJ, S.K., Lokesh B, Effect of dietary ghee-the anhydrous milk fat, on blood and liver lipids in rats. J Nutr. Biochem., 1999. 10.

66. Beare-Rogers J, e.a., Lexicon of lipid nutrition (IUPAC Technical Report). Pure and Applied Chemistry, 2001. 73(4).

67. S, C. COW’S GHEE-GO GHRIT -FA COMPOSITION OF COW'S GHEE. Dec 30, 2012 [cited; Available from:

68. NIH Heart, L.a.B.I. Low Calorie Step I Diet. 2012 [cited; Available from:

69. Zumdahl SS, Z.S., Chemistry, Ch7. 7th ed. 2007, Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company. 1056.

70. Li, J.J., Inflammation: an important mechanism for different clinical entities of coronary artery diseases. Chin Med J (Engl), 2005. 118(21): p. 1817-26.

71. Li, J.J., Inflammation in coronary artery diseases. Chin Med J (Engl), 2011. 124(21): p. 3568-75.

72. Wikipedia, Butyric Acid. Wikipedia.

73. Vanhoutvin, S.A., et al., Butyrate-induced transcriptional changes in human colonic mucosa. PLoS One, 2009. 4(8): p. e6759.

74. V, L., Textbook of Ayurveda: A Complete Guide to Clinical Assessment. 2006, Albuquerque, NM: The Ayurvedic Press.

75. Halpern, M., Textbook of Clinical Ayurvedic Medicine, Part I. 2010.

76. Wikipedia, Alzheimer's Disease cited:'s_disease

77. Cole, G.M., Q.L. Ma, and S.A. Frautschy, Omega-3 fatty acids and dementia.

Prostaglandins Leukot Essent Fatty Acids, 2009. 81(2-3): p. 213-21.

78. Sharma, H., X. Zhang, and C. Dwivedi, The effect of ghee (clarified butter) on serum lipid levels and microsomal lipid peroxidation. Ayu, 2010. 31(2): p. 134-40.

79. Shankar RS, e.a., Serum Lipid Response to Introducing Ghee as a Partial Replacement for Mustard Oil in the Diet of Healthy Young Indians. Indian J. Physiol. Pharmacol., 2005. 49(1).

80. Third Report of the National Cholesterol Education Program (NCEP) Expert Panel on Detection, Evaluation, and Treatment of High Blood Cholesterol in Adults (Adult Treatment Panel III) final report. Circulation, 2002. 106(25): p. 3143-421.

81. LL, S., Review of Progress in Sterol Oxidation 1987-1996. Lipids, 1996. 31.

82. Kumar VJ, S.K., Lokesh B, Hypocholesterolemic efect of anhydrous milk fat ghee is mediated by increasing the secretion of biliary lipids. J Nutr. Biochem., 2000. 11.

83. Oza DN, e.a., Evaluation of Bhringarajadi Ghrita Rasayana in Premature Aging. Ayu, 2009.<|endoftext|>Currently Browsing: barbecue pork

Barbecue Pork Fried Rice

Who doesn’t like a barbecue? That char flavour on the meat is just heavenly. However, sometimes you just don’t have the energy to fire up the jiko and that’s when my recipe comes in handy. This barbecue pork fried rice was a favourite at my dinner table. The pork was so good that my husband ate a lot of the barbecue pork by itself. If you like, feel free to pull the meat apart, add some more barbecue sauce and enjoy it in a sandwich.

Pika Chakula
Close Cookmode<|endoftext|>Badkagaon, Jharkhand

     Coal distribution through bicycles

At a production rate of over 300 million tonnes (MT) per year, India is the third-largest coal miner after China and the US. Until the 1980s, much of India's coal was extracted from the eastern coalfields (Jharia and Raniganj) in Jharkhand/West Bengal. Now, with the thrust on industrial development, besides intensifying extraction in existing projects through increased mechanization, other coalfields have opened up around India, in particular, the central coalfields of north Karanpura, stretching across Jharkhand (once south Bihar) to the west of Dhanbad, the ‘coal’ capital of India, located on the Jharia coalfields. The Raniganj–Jharia coalfields1 are still significant, producing about 25 MT per year. Until the advent of open cut development, most coal came from relatively shallow underground mines, extracted using board and pillar technology. Today, large-scale open cut mining is providing about two-thirds of India's coal production.

Alongside, piggy-backing on, the largely government-operated formal mines, has flourished non-conventional mining that is often seen as illegal. This coal mining is carried out by villagers, digging in small patches or from older abandoned mines in these coal-bearing areas. It is illegal because in India, as in many other developing countries, mineral resources under the ground belong to the state. Coal is considered to be a ‘major’ mineral and hence collieries can only be operated by a licensed operator who can legally mine coal following various norms set by the government. Illegal mining began full scale in the region about 7–8 years after nationalization and the raising of coal prices, but instead of staying hidden, as it used to be before, it has now become more visible and diversified. A common sight now-a-days along the highways and other roads in the area are bicycles carrying sacks of coal, the bike being used as an inanimate packhorse with men pushing them instead of pedaling.

One naturally asks who are these coal cycle wallahs, how much coal do they carry, where does the coal come from, and where does it go? Again, more broadly, one may ask, why do people engage in illegal activities and why now? The research described here started with these simple questions. Our objective here is to provide an estimate of one part of the ‘black’ (that is, illegal) coal economy in one part of the coal-producing tracts of India by describing the nature and extent of coal (or coke) supplied by bicycle. The black economy, as a whole, is very extensive and pervasive within India. The non-formal economy (combination of informal and black economies) is estimated to amount to ~ 88% of the known gross domestic product (GDP); but according to Kumar at least 40% of the Indian economy is black. Although the latter believes that the black economy is concentrated in the top 3% of India’s money earners, it permeates down to the lowest levels: we show the distinction between informal and illegal economies are becoming increasingly blurred. This paper, therefore, deals primarily with a numerical measurement of the size of illegal coal carried by cyclists in eastern India.

The research reported here differs from other studies of the ‘black’ or ‘underground’ economy, making use of intensive, quantitative field surveys and qualitative in-depth interviews. Data presented in this paper are based on two types of surveys carried out during November–December 2003. The first type of survey counted the number of cycles coming into town along critical roads whilst the other consisted of interviews with administrators, local police, journalists, as well as opportunistic talks with coal cycle wallahs. Information and data collected from the surveys is supported by census data and experience developed in the past three years whilst carrying out research projects in this particular region.

First, we provide a flavor of some of the interviews and anecdotal evidence, second, we describe the sources of coal and small-scale coking procedure, the wallahs and their cycles, and the extent of delivery by cycle to a selected town (Hazaribagh in Jharkhand). Finally, we estimate the amount of coal or coke that gets delivered this way from the coalfields in eastern India:

 1343-56.

61. Steinberg, D., Thematic review series: the pathogenesis of atherosclerosis. An interpretive history of the cholesterol controversy, part V: the discovery of the statins and the end of the controversy. J Lipid Res, 2006. 47(7): p. 1339-51.

62. Futterman, L.G. and L. Lemberg, Apo a-I Milano. Am J Crit Care, 2005. 14(3): p. 244-7.

63. Nabel, E.G. and E. Braunwald, A tale of coronary artery disease and myocardial infarction.

N Engl J Med, 2012. 366(1): p. 54-63.

65. Kumar VJ, S.K., Lokesh B, Effect of dietary ghee-the anhydrous milk fat, on blood and liver lipids in rats. J Nutr. Biochem., 1999. 10.

66. Beare-Rogers J, e.a., Lexicon of lipid nutrition (IUPAC Technical Report). Pure and Applied Chemistry, 2001. 73(4).

67. S, C. COW’S GHEE-GO GHRIT -FA COMPOSITION OF COW'S GHEE. Dec 30, 2012 [cited; Available from:

68. NIH Heart, L.a.B.I. Low Calorie Step I Diet. 2012 [cited; Available from:

69. Zumdahl SS, Z.S., Chemistry, Ch7. 7th ed. 2007, Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Company. 1056.

70. Li, J.J., Inflammation: an important mechanism for different clinical entities of coronary artery diseases. Chin Med J (Engl), 2005. 118(21): p. 1817-26.

71. Li, J.J., Inflammation in coronary artery diseases. Chin Med J (Engl), 2011. 124(21): p. 3568-75.

72. Wikipedia, Butyric Acid. Wikipedia.

73. Vanhoutvin, S.A., et al., Butyrate-induced transcriptional changes in human colonic mucosa. PLoS One, 2009. 4(8): p. e6759.

74. V, L., Textbook of Ayurveda: A Complete Guide to Clinical Assessment. 2006, Albuquerque, NM: The Ayurvedic Press.

75. Halpern, M., Textbook of Clinical Ayurvedic Medicine, Part I. 2010.

76. Wikipedia, Alzheimer's Disease cited:'s_disease

77. Cole, G.M., Q.L. Ma, and S.A. Frautschy, Omega-3 fatty acids and dementia.

Prostaglandins Leukot Essent Fatty Acids, 2009. 81(2-3): p. 213-21.

78. Sharma, H., X. Zhang, and C. Dwivedi, The effect of ghee (clarified butter) on serum lipid levels and microsomal lipid peroxidation. Ayu, 2010. 31(2): p. 134-40.

79. Shankar RS, e.a., Serum Lipid Response to Introducing Ghee as a Partial Replacement for Mustard Oil in the Diet of Healthy Young Indians. Indian J. Physiol. Pharmacol., 2005. 49(1).

80. Third Report of the National Cholesterol Education Program (NCEP) Expert Panel on Detection, Evaluation, and Treatment of High Blood Cholesterol in Adults (Adult Treatment Panel III) final report. Circulation, 2002. 106(25): p. 3143-421.

81. LL, S., Review of Progress in Sterol Oxidation 1987-1996. Lipids, 1996. 31.

82. Kumar VJ, S.K., Lokesh B, Hypocholesterolemic efect of anhydrous milk fat ghee is mediated by increasing the secretion of biliary lipids. J Nutr. Biochem., 2000. 11.

83. Oza DN, e.a., Evaluation of Bhringarajadi Ghrita Rasayana in Premature Aging. Ayu, 2009.<|endoftext|>Currently Browsing: barbecue pork

Barbecue Pork Fried Rice

Who doesn’t like a barbecue? That char flavour on the meat is just heavenly. However, sometimes you just don’t have the energy to fire up the jiko and that’s when my recipe comes in handy. This barbecue pork fried rice was a favourite at my dinner table. The pork was so good that my husband ate a lot of the barbecue pork by itself. If you like, feel free to pull the meat apart, add some more barbecue sauce and enjoy it in a sandwich.

Pika Chakula
Close Cookmode<|endoftext|>Badkagaon, Jharkhand

     Coal distribution through bicycles

At a production rate of over 300 million tonnes (MT) per year, India is the third-largest coal miner after China and the US. Until the 1980s, much of India's coal was extracted from the eastern coalfields (Jharia and Raniganj) in Jharkhand/West Bengal. Now, with the thrust on industrial development, besides intensifying extraction in existing projects through increased mechanization, other coalfields have opened up around India, in particular, the central coalfields of north Karanpura, stretching across Jharkhand (once south Bihar) to the west of Dhanbad, the ‘coal’ capital of India, located on the Jharia coalfields. The Raniganj–Jharia coalfields1 are still significant, producing about 25 MT per year. Until the advent of open cut development, most coal came from relatively shallow underground mines, extracted using board and pillar technology. Today, large-scale open cut mining is providing about two-thirds of India's coal production.

Alongside, piggy-backing on, the largely government-operated formal mines, has flourished non-conventional mining that is often seen as illegal. This coal mining is carried out by villagers, digging in small patches or from older abandoned mines in these coal-bearing areas. It is illegal because in India, as in many other developing countries, mineral resources under the ground belong to the state. Coal is considered to be a ‘major’ mineral and hence collieries can only be operated by a licensed operator who can legally mine coal following various norms set by the government. Illegal mining began full scale in the region about 7–8 years after nationalization and the raising of coal prices, but instead of staying hidden, as it used to be before, it has now become more visible and diversified. A common sight now-a-days along the highways and other roads in the area are bicycles carrying sacks of coal, the bike being used as an inanimate packhorse with men pushing them instead of pedaling.

One naturally asks who are these coal cycle wallahs, how much coal do they carry, where does the coal come from, and where does it go? Again, more broadly, one may ask, why do people engage in illegal activities and why now? The research described here started with these simple questions. Our objective here is to provide an estimate of one part of the ‘black’ (that is, illegal) coal economy in one part of the coal-producing tracts of India by describing the nature and extent of coal (or coke) supplied by bicycle. The black economy, as a whole, is very extensive and pervasive within India. The non-formal economy (combination of informal and black economies) is estimated to amount to ~ 88% of the known gross domestic product (GDP); but according to Kumar at least 40% of the Indian economy is black. Although the latter believes that the black economy is concentrated in the top 3% of India’s money earners, it permeates down to the lowest levels: we show the distinction between informal and illegal economies are becoming increasingly blurred. This paper, therefore, deals primarily with a numerical measurement of the size of illegal coal carried by cyclists in eastern India.

The research reported here differs from other studies of the ‘black’ or ‘underground’ economy, making use of intensive, quantitative field surveys and qualitative in-depth interviews. Data presented in this paper are based on two types of surveys carried out during November–December 2003. The first type of survey counted the number of cycles coming into town along critical roads whilst the other consisted of interviews with administrators, local police, journalists, as well as opportunistic talks with coal cycle wallahs. Information and data collected from the surveys is supported by census data and experience developed in the past three years whilst carrying out research projects in this particular region.

First, we provide a flavor of some of the interviews and anecdotal evidence, second, we describe the sources of coal and small-scale coking procedure, the wallahs and their cycles, and the extent of delivery by cycle to a selected town (Hazaribagh in Jharkhand). Finally, we estimate the amount of coal or coke that gets delivered this way from the coalfields in eastern India: the states being Jharkhand and West Bengal, and the coalfields being Bokaro, Jharia, north Karanpura, and Raniganj. The tract covers an area of approximately, 20,000 square kilometres (km2) (Figures 1 [a and b]), the eastern parts of which are densely populated