Mind-boggling rhetorical question of the day: Who on earth chooses to have their bachlorette party dinner at Lucille's? \n\nMy down home girlie girl, who, bless her sweet heart and wonderbread palate, absolutely adores this joint. \n\nTo start, the service was absolutely atrocious. Party of eight on a Friday night. Annoying? I can see how it could be. More annoying? Losing the reservation and shoving us into a corner designed to seat five, maybe six max. A bunch of elbow bumping, scantily clad chicks all dolled, sipping fruity ass hurricanes and the like. Probably pretty humorous to observe. Not so humorous to navigate.\n\nPut on your woo-girl face though because this is a par-tay! Woo!\n\nBring out the mildly scandalous goodie bags filled with penis lollipops, dirty fortune cookies and flavored lube (i.e. the tame stuff). Just scandalous enough send your Great Aunt Esther into a conniption fit. Seriously, if this was the genuine highlight of this meal, it really does not speak highly of the hot garbage being slopped on a plate at Lucille's. Woo!\n\nAnd we wait, and wait, and wait. \n\nBread, finally! Woo!\n\nWait, are you sure you didn't confuse biscuits with hard tack? Because not even the scrumptious honey butter you've got is worth the dental bills incurred from teething this rock. \n\nAgain we wait, and wait, and wait. \n\nPulled pork! Woo!\n\nHold up. How does a pulled pork sandwich manage to be incredibly greasy and dry as a bone at the same time? Have I slipped into some alternative dimension? Is it opposite day? Because if so, this shit is finger-lickin' good. You best slop on that BBQ sauce to add some semblance of flavor to the sandwich and hope it doesn't soak through the bun in 2.5 seconds flat. Worst pulled pork sandwich I have ever eaten. Hands down. The garlicky mashed potatoes as a side were the only saving grace of the meal.\n\nI seriously have no idea how this place stays in business. If it were not for the over abundance of low swingin' crotch fruit I brought to the party, dinner here would have tanked, hard and fast. It was awkward, drawn out (3 hours!) and ridiculously expensive. The best part about the experience was walking out the door. Woo!