Admittedly, I'm nearing the end of maximum buffet capacity as I age into my mid-30's, meaning the appeal of impersonating a human version of a foie gras force fed goose is quickly waning faster than a 68 year old man's erection. That, and my proficiency for converting large amounts of food into rude amounts of byproduct is normally deterrent enough to prevent any gluttonous inclinations. \n\nEXCEPT when I find myself in Las Vegas, where I seemingly always find myself reenacting Michael Corleone's sentiment: \"Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in! \"\n\nIn comparison to my last foray into the realm of gastronomic excess known as the Las Vegas buffet, the Village Seafood Buffet is a more humble option to the Bellagio's all you can eat spread that I last conquered in Conan-esque fashion (3 plates with not one ounce of vegetable matter, not surprisingly horrifying my vegetarian girlfriend when I ate my age in BBQ ribs years back). Rio's Village Seafood Buffet promises heaping piles of King Crab legs, raw oysters, various sushi, cooked shrimp, alongside others dishes that span the global flavours of the Middle East, to Mexico, to China/Japan and occasionally even into the skimpy-attired borders of Hooters-ville (the land where all good food is fried food).\n\nAvoiding the pitfalls of typical all-you-can eat deals, the King Crab legs and rock crab claws were surprisingly flavourful and mostly devoid of the excess salinity that mars most buffets; if you particularly like these seafood choices and are capable of eating several plates of these aquatic arachnid parts, you might find the buffet worth the money. In fact, I spied a notable amount of the dining room's patrons with plates singularly piled with only crab appendages, communicating the quality of the particular offering. On the other hand the raw oysters reminded me of a real life autopsy of a human being's eyeball offered on a half shell; a gray, flaccid, watery mass that didn't do much to excite the taste buds and worried me enough to limit my intake to a single slurp followed by an immediate return to the belief in the power of prayer. The worst though were the overcooked, tough and slightly unappetizing looking (because squished eyeballs weren't bad enough) slipper lobster tails; possibly cooked by  H.R. Geiger himself, this culinary crime against nature is stacked en masse in a broth with a strong resemblance to used laundry water...yet I ate two in sheer stubborn stupidity hoping I'd get over the yuck factor and love the taste of laundry water. Skip the slipper lobster tails unless you're looking for a chew toy that looks like the underside of a pillbug and tastes no better.\n\nLaid out neatly, sushi rolls and nigiri are standard buffet fair and easy to devour in multitudes (which I did), but it was really the hot food options in the Chinese food section, notably their steamed dumplings, noodles and braised Chinese string beans that I enjoyed the most.  At the same time the rubbery sliced steak station might be a good way to loosen a tooth if you have a child looking to cash in with the Tooth Fairy, characterized with a taste that can only be described as \"interesting\". Overall, besides the ethnic tinged dishes, the overwhelming characteristic of this buffet is a blandness that is neither notably offensive nor memorable.\n\nLeave yourself room for a creme brulee, a slice of chocolate mousse cake and some gelato/ice cream which is dispensed from a contraption that looks like an angled wheel of lactose misfortune manned by an octarian who scoops the most miniscule amounts of chilled sweets. They're not bad at all, if markedly more flavourful than the entrees that preceded them during our hour stay. Also, be sure to download the free upgrade coupon from the Rio Casino website; you'll be rewarded with a silver dollar sized filet mignon Oscar with grilled shrimp and asparagus true to its \"petite\" advertisement.\n\nSeafood lover's heaven? Perhaps if your expectations land somewhere near the realm of Red Lobster territory. Otherwise at best, Village Seafood Buffet doesn't seem any better than the multitude of all-you-can eat seafood buffets in any metropolitan city bigger than Bakerfield. Because of the price and the limited selection of actual seafood worth eating in vast quantities (or eating at all), you'd be better off using that money at one of the finer dining establishments in LV that promotes quality over quantity or wandering over to the roulette table and always betting on black like that wise tax-evading sage once professed.