The South Side Burger King--if you're hungry and you're in the South Side, chances are this Burger King is closed.\n\nDecades ago, I'm sure this location flourished. Unfortunately, the outdated branding and incessant loitering has ripped this once King from his throne.\n\nDissatisfied with a $9 lunch that I bought at a local establishment, I thought I'd spend a few bucks on cheap grub at Burger King to satiate my need for quick, greasy, delicious fast food. The front door was closed, and there was a sign posted--\"Please Use Side Entanc.\" We entered using the side entrance, and were greeted by blacked out LCD screens. Only one of them seemed to be on, and it was adorned with a floating \"SOLD OUT\" screensaver.\n\nThe menu was printed and taped to the counter. It was heavily stained with grease and pop. \"Chicken nuggets and french fries,\" I thought to myself. \"Chicken nuggets and french fries,\" I repeated out loud.\n\nAnother customer ahead of me inquired about the french fries. \"That's all we have, they're not sending us the other kind anymore,\" the manager said. Steak cut. Obviously frozen. My mother used to get ones just like it at Costco. The chicken nuggets came out. They weren't the usual crowns--oh, no. They were nostalgic of my elementary school lunch chicken nuggets. I asked for barbeque sauce, and the manager rushed around back and grabbed a plastic high-ball glass before filling it up with Sweet Baby Ray's.\n\nThe radio blasted 80s dance music before shifting to Simon and Garfunkel. Hello, darkness, my old friend.\n\nThe solemn faces, crying children, and disgruntled coworkers around me validated my conclusion--Hell exists, and it is the South Side Burger King.