Oh Barcelona, I visited you with low expectations - and you didn't disappoint.\n\nA lovely young woman of my recent acquaintance invited me here recently for the purpose of attending a birthday party for a friend of hers. Neither of us would have come here otherwise. \n\nIf you're thinking about going, don't do it. If you care for the deets, read on. If not, stop reading here and.... go somewhere else. Please. \n\nWe show up at about 8 for drinks and dinner. I wasn't in a drinking mood, my date's Appletini was pretty Appley but the amount of liquor was tini. Must be why they call it an Appletini. Hm. Highlight was the bread brought to the table - the pretzel rolls were the highlight of the evening. How sad is that?\n\nNow... the place is called Barcelona. Barcelona is a city in Spain. THe closest thing to a Spanish dish on the menu us Paella, otherwise it's a steakhouse menu with a few obligatory pasta dishes. Totally uninspired.\n\nI ordered the ribeye, medium rare. It came out medium, and the glaze and whatever else they put on it were awful, save the two onion rings. I doubt this was USDA prime beef. It just wasn't that good, and the room was so dark that it was hard to see what I was eating. The shoestring fries side were a pleasant surprise - a giant mound of crispy potato. \n\nMy date had some kind of pasta with shrimp dish. The shrimp were overdone, the pasta was, ok. Denny's pasta is OK, too, and let's face it, so is Chef Boyardee... So don't read too much into the complement. \n\nBarcelona. Spain. The place doesn't look that Spanish on the inside. There is a giant mural on the ceiling, dim lights, it reminds me more of Las Vegas cheese than Spain. \n\nWhile you dine, there are two Scottsdouche (or is it Douchedale?) types crooning back and forth to each other on stage. Is this where failed American Idol contestants try to relive their moment of glory? I don't know. They made a reappearance later, singing along with a DJ to a selection of bad 90's pop music with the occasional 80's party jam. \n\nThe crowd is douchey. The food is awful and on the pricey side. The service, spotty. \n\nIf you're coming for the thing Barcelona is famous for, you'll find a lot of it. If not, stay away. Far, far away.