There's about 10 minutes of things  I like about Roscoe's:  It's a good place to go for darts and a beer, and the music is above average before it gets worse.   With that, I'm already out of things I like, so I suggest you spend no more than that here and leave.   \n\nI only went to meet friends, and a good friend at that.  I would have passed any other time.   \n\nI order a Stella on draught, served right, even in the Stella glass.  They do know how to serve beer and other alcoholic drinks here, like, in the strictest sense of being able to pour a non-skunked brew or a strong cocktail in the right glass.   Not much else, unfortunately.\n\n$4.75, the bartender tells me.  I hand him my Visa.  \n\n\"It's cash only.\"   \n\nMy vision blurs as I strain to quell my irritation as we're already off to a great start.  I should have left right there, but that would have probably been illegal and the Stella looked pretty good.  \n\nI take out a $20 from the ATM, the last ATM in Arizona that still dials out. So I spent my time waiting looking for skimmers because nobody else would have noticed one in a place this cheap.   \n\nI like paying $5 in fees for a $5.75 beer.   I really do.   (With tip, as its not his fault his job sucks.)\n\nAs I find out, I pulled the last $20 out of the ATM before it *ran out of money.*  If I intended on pulling more out to lessen the 25% tax on my cash, I would've been doubly irritated.  \n\nSo when the bartender switches the policy from \"cash only\" to \"we take plastic\" after I just went out of my way and money to comply...I didn't know there was another reason I don't want to go back but the morons who run this place figured one out.  \n\nThe stale-beer-and-sweat smell was getting to me by the time my friend needed a cigarette.   But forget seeking your respite on their \"patio.\"    \n\nTheir \"patio\" is more like a planemullkip, a word I had to just make up from the German translation for \"a tarp stretched over a garbage dump.\"  \n\nNo prior English word better describes this pathetic joke--It smells worse outside, there's no furniture, but there is plenty of garbage and you can't even take your drink out.\n\nMaybe it's intentional--they've duplicated being just as cheap, annoying, and lazy on the outside as they have inside.   The tiny bathroom that forces everyone to watch you take a dump is just like the rest of the place:  all the charm and appeal of a rural county lock-up, right down to the same suicide-proof sheet-metal toilet.  Even if you get off on this sort of thing despite the many inherent travesties, go elsewhere.  \n\nIncidentally, I really like setting my coaster on top of my drink and adjusting it so just in case one of the creepy trolls here GHB's my drink, I'll notice.\n\nA use permit is something like $500 from the city for outdoor alcohol  consumption, and they might pay that much in fencing.   Instead, I just I don't get it.  I first went here 7 years ago and I can tell they've made about $300 in capital improvements since then, all from Goodwill.\n\nOutside lives a $30 heater, they have a $150 website, and $100 for a used LCD or two.   One of the LCDs was displaying a completely different faded illegible picture than the one on the same channel next to it, putting the rampant cheapness here in striking contrast to the one new thing that worked--the jukebox probably wasn't theirs and didn't work either.   Who even knew you could get a website from Goodwill?\n\nThe last $20 they must have spent is for the annoying plastic flaps they hang on the back door to lessen their AC bills.\n \nThis place reeks of cheap.  And not in a good way like a cheap beer, the sort of thing I'll tolerate a lot for.  \n\nRoscoe's is cheap like \"you've got to be kidding me\" cheap or \"the smell just made me throw up in my mouth\" cheap, both of which negate any benefit of cheap beer. \n\nRocoe's survives on two things:  being the one gay sportsbar in town and being the one thing to do on a Tuesday night.   \n\nSo I give it a 2 out of 10.  It covers its bases, but that's it.   I'll say it a third time.\n\nEven if you like that sort of thing, just go elsewhere.