God I love getting stuff in the mail, it's like Christmas, isn't it?  Especially when it's something good.  Belgian milk chocolate truffles, a shiny Luger, a diamond necklace, XXXL vibrators...who knows what could be in that box??  Well, I know what was in the box, but I'm not telling.  Anyway, so there I was, desperately awaiting my package from Amazon.  I was perched in an extremely comfortable armchair, waiting for the sweet sweet sound of the leaves crunching under the feet of the mail carrier guy walking to my door, carrying my package.  Except the sound never came.  And neither did my vi....err, package.  \n\nAt some point that evening I started becoming seriously irritated over the case of the Mysteriously Never-Delivered Package.  It seemed really odd that the FedEx guy wouldn't have shown up when I'd paid for 2 day shipping.  That's when I discovered according to the tracking, my order was actually shipped via ONTRAC, aka the shadiest package delivering service in existence. \n\nAccording to OnTrac, my package was delivered around 1:00pm.  Now since I'm not deaf and I was home at the time it was supposedly delivered, it stretches my credulity to believe that I could have somehow missed someone knocking on the fucking door.  The door like 10 feet away from that oh-so-comfortable armchair.  Not only did no one knock, but there wasn't even a NOTE left saying they'd been by.  \n\nThe bottom line is, it's their responsibility to make sure a package reaches its destination.  They failed.  This company really needs to look into their internal policies and their employees. Whatever the problem is, it's some seriously shady shit going on.  I for one will not be waiting to find out if their services improve, because I'm canceling my Amazon Prime membership.  I'm not willing to deal with the headache their shoddy services caused a second time.  Once was quite enough.